Finished Folds (141—160)
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5We gave Coach a black eye (eye shadow provided by Urban Decay) and went through the X's and O's with him. "Drag is a journey, not a race," I said. "Look at Peyton Manning. His rosy
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4grabbed his copy of "Botany: Friend" and found the crime scene. "Jane Doe wasn't the only one deflowered before her wedding," Det. Manatee quipped. He checked the asters for prints
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6"Raining blood! From a lacerated sky!" the kid shouted. The sociology professor went with it. "What does that say about American culture?" "Uhh, angels need tampons? Die, hippies?"
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4Ghosts are we, but what the cuss?/ Ain't no Hoosiers 'fraid of us/ Cuz I'm Heckabub, I'm hecka cute/ He's Juzzabub, he's just a hoot/ Cut the fuss and play that flute! *flute solo*
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4*static* "Welcome back to Igneous Pop 93.5 FM, featuring the jammin' coitus of two genres, never two species." *static* "Juan and Amal in the Morning, talkin' politics..." *static*
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2prospecting - winning gold is cooler than finding it yourself. We were up 27 in the Olympic Basketball Gold Medal match, and coach finally put me in. I couldn't screw this up if I
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3My ankle!!!! screamed one of the lawyers. He sued the owner of the hill, Parliamentarian Alice Bancroft, for failure to warn trespassers of the steepness of said hill. The clanging
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2-ate a psychological aversion to Denny's: the food, the viscous toppings, the viscous fluids. The pancake fell onto Maggie's table. It was like a giant eye peering into her soul
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5"Okay, Mr. Smee, you can go on paternity leave," I said. Mr. Smee hugged me and ran off with his baby T-Rex. In a land without aging, humans and dinosaurs coexisted and copulated
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4They were closing in on me because I was getting fatter. The eating experiment tested the effects of dim lighting and the color gray on hunger. A bowl of minestrone was craned in.
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11Alex Trebek was scaring me. "P-please, Alex, let me go." He replied, "Never underestimate the influence the collapse of this wall had on the origins of your death." The bricks fell
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4, or maybe that was a butterfly in Brazil's doing. Living up to a name like Bob Change was a daunting task, but me? My name was Willie Craven. I took Bob out to the movies to watch
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4eaten except in candy form, a good thought. I imagined the Hooters waitress's thoughts at every Happy Hour, imagining her smarter each week until her wits-to-tits ratio exceeded 1.
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4had graffiti all down its back that I had self-expressed. We of the Eighth Arm sent an aura blast at Mecha Master 2708, which it dodged easily. Maybe the doomsayer was right; maybe
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3the content of their fanfiction, or its characters, do not hit 'send.' Take the high road and giggle to yourself. Remember, you wrote "Linkin Park Saves Hogwarts" once. Offer tips
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1Si él no tenía nada, entonces él no tiene que dejar nada atrás, existencialmente hablando. Eso significa que no hay despedidas tristes a colecciones de monedas o
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4It would crush your spirit, the only thing more vital than Colgate. Chewbacca fired up Rosetta Stone, desperate to fit into the world of men. "Say 'hello.'" "Hrrngah." "No, say
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4deny the fossil record now that it was strewn about their front yards. "Would the weather stop if we seceded?" Rick Perry wondered aloud. The tsunadonami cared not for politics or
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4me to moon their Sunday Schoolers while they were tied to anchors to prevent escape. I worked in some "turn the other cheek" jokes when I performed at the Wisconsin Church O'
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4a stranger on the subway, but who doesn't love a good fondling after a long day at work? He reached his hand into her pocket aaaand no plump, beautiful wallet. The breast pocket