1 Folds
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I had finally reached my goal of annihilating the tyrant of an oppressed nation. One button press was all that was left to do to end it all! But I was hesitant. I shook as I -
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"You get NOTHING! You lose! Good day, sir!" It didnt' make me feel any better about being surrounded by some of the wettest, ugliest men I had ever seen. But I toiled away at
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killing a man with a rusty butter knife. I normally piss in one's corn flakes, but I decided today would be a good day to make you a rusty slice of toast.
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reckless sodomy and fraudulent accusations of abetting white-collar crimes. Don't you remember the trip to Tijuana?" The oak tree chuckled malevolently. "Why, I remember when
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they co-signed a mortgage on a new house together. They then cooperatively made a dutch apple pie and ate it with ice cream. Finally, they
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fell to the ground and lose consciousness. I quickly got onto my feet and saw a violet-brick road leading to an empyrean sunset. The grass was blue and the sky green. I felt my
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my good friend Bill Cosby. If ever there was a time when I needed a Jello Pudding Pop, this was it. With a cool, but hearty smile, my sweater-wearing friend gave me a delicious
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I covered it in a blanket. If it wasn't for that silly horn of his, he would be inconspicuous and well-hidden. I tried my best to hide the horn, but I heard footsteps...
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my hideously ugly mother. I noticed she was cleaning the attic after I gave her a half-assed greeting. My toupee was nowhere to be found! I clenched my fists, gnashed my teeth, and
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I saw three people, each bound and tied to a pole. A tall, obese man with short hair, an average height man in a leather coat, and a voluptuous woman. I pulled the trigger and
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I sent in my application for the clown college at the edge of town. I anticipated eagerly my acception/rejection letter in the mail. The mail man finally slipped a beefy envelope
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my boss called. I let the machine pick it up. "Hello, John. I called to tell you that you're fired. Your job has now been filled by a talking elephant. Have a nice day!"
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She looked at me with amorous eyes. She breathed heavily, covered in sweat and drool as if struggling to exist. But her glare had more strength than 20 men. Her stomach gurgled...
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ran for the door. But soon, two great, armored cows burst through the opposite door. One clearly had udders due to the obvious bulge in her armor. Both of us froze in our tracks
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a marble obelisk. At its top was a blue flame giving off a modest light that shown only on my person. However, this light only got brighter, revealing more scenery.
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compatible with those cables." But I wouldn't give up. I grabbed my trusty tool kit and told the old coot to search for signs of Uranium-235. I grabbed a cable and my tiniest tool
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The magical unicorn bowed low and granted me my most desired wish. I had always wanted
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With my trusty flashlight, I saw a small button. I poked it briskfully and one of the nearby statues bent over mechanically and opened a passage inside. I ran to small door and
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In my backyard lived a giant, anthropomorphic bookshelf. It woudn't stop shooting books at people. It was especially painful when it lodged volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica.
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my shoulder. It was a waiter showing genuine concern for my well-being. I couldn't help but look at him before he asked me