Finished Folds (301—320)
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4Try that over here." He pointed down between his feet. Louella turned and glared at him as he rocked and pointed, grinning like a moron. She quietly went inside and retrieved her
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3up in an insane asylum, unable to prevent the lyrics from "Rock and Roll All Night" from echoing continuously, and at a loud volume, in his brain. Dr. McGurdapoophalan, his
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5Annihilation Committee had tried to commission the Ronald McDonald 3016 cyborg to systematically exterminate the fast food franchise, but the Wendy Obliteration League's offer was
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3atop the fireplace mantle, wearing motley, and jerking about holding a couple of light sticks!" "I still don't see anything." "Dude" -- I was at wits end -- "this is the worst rave
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2that was so shocking: Gilbert Gottfried! I thought he was dead! The spikes of the Iron Maiden had indented, but not penetrated his resilient flesh. "Gah, thanks!" he said, stepping
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7Inuit-style, which means to abandon me on an ice floe in the thick of night. They object to my Teutophilic tendencies, and my revulsion to raw whale blubber. The 9th Symphony plays
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0upon the dotards who dwell in the park at night, unable to sleep and mistaking lizards for pigeons. What we were not prepared for was the surprising martial skill of these senior
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7However, as the bride played herself in the 3.5 hour movie, his attempts at concealment were negated. Det. Manatee poked the spam baby with a 10' pole. It giggled, and the fez fell
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4and revealing the miniature version of himself atop his bald pate. In turn, the smaller undertaker removed his top hat, revealing the same. The vulture whistled, and the widow
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4was finished. His gambling debt was approaching a fatal level, and Don Arrivederci's generosity was fickle. Dinko rehearsed his sales pitch silently, coughed, and then pressed the
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4-bombs like sailors on a three-day bender. The griffin and mock turtle were in fact sailors who had been transformed by an allergic reaction to toxins in the Red Lobster's oyster
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7his elementary particles. Such a man was cynical, nihilistic even, and would often be seen reading Celine or Houellebecq while semi-clad prostitutes danced in hot tubs filled with
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4quickly eviscerated every human in proximity. Recognizing it's mistake hours later, Jedi Hand was overcome by shame and regret. It began frequenting Lotion Bars, and was on the
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5-stood his triumphant call -- a resounding YES to life itself! -- as a request for boom-boom with the king's daughter. A generous people, the smiling, 350 lbs. girl was offered
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3their honeymoon ended suddenly when an immense asteroid collided with the moon. While an amazing curiosity to the ignorant majority, Ichabod and Susanna found the incident ominous.
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6He stood up, confused. Then his head began to swim, and he ran about frantically, screaming to no one in particular, "My God! Soylent hot dog is people!" Bawling, he dropped to his
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4"Alert! Beyonce has broken her silence on the 'elevator incident'." Alert! Beyonce has broken her silence on the 'elevator incident'. Alert!.."
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7Frustrated by the absence of an award for the Greatest Award, I created just such an award and then awarded it to myself for having created and awarded it. The Greatest Award Award
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6prophetic, in a sad way, as if decades of future history were being ordained in this ridiculous triumphalist act. Destroyed, I stumbled towards the bridge. The merciful river sped.
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6pariahs in our community. We have been consigned to a shack on a small plot of infertile land and forced into night labor where we can't be seen. Why did my parents shave the curse