Finished Folds (681—700)
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5also weary of Merlot? Why don't we expand our wine horizons and venture into the daring waters of Burgundy, Chablis, Pinot Noir, or -- dare I say it -- Riesling?" "Oh, shut up," he
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10"God no, don't, you'll kill yourself," my bawling wife implored as she pulled at my robe sleeve. I batted her arms away. "Stand aside, woman! I am going to submit 100 folds today
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3Don Parker glided onto the stage and waved graciously at the screaming fans who filled the television studio. His new variety show, Celebrity Sex Tape, was the surprise hit of
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2replied without batting an eye. "A dead tuna." She harpooned Charlie through the eye and pulled his body onto the boat. Pearl lit the Coleman grill and opened the premium cutlery
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6flavor, a preventative measure as most humans had resorted to cannibalism. The mutant aliens had observed the humans patiently for decades, and only commenced the invasion after
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5But Berlin was a ruse; their true destinations were Oslo, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Helsinki. They had graduated from thrash to Scandanavian death metal, but were too embarrassed to
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2F9 AB 50 C2 3D 11 EF 04 B7 93 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 ... Slowly I regained my senses; binary, to hex, to letters, to words, to meaning. "What the hell just
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3on sugar and spice and everything nice. "Gretel," he choked through the blood in his throat. His sister crouched over Hans' dying body. "I...love..." Gretel thrust a yanagi knife
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7attend to each and every spice in your pantry in under an hour. Why settle for discount food fondlers? We were the first and we are the worst -- in that inverted sense of "worst",
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8was reorganizing at a dizzying pace; few recognized that it would eventually resolve to a cat-hybrid-unipolar system. Catpenguins, catoctopi, catlemurs, catcats -- would dominate
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6amplifiers in his neck and molded his face so that he resembled Kyle MacLachlan. "OK," David Lynch instructed, "it's pronounced Uhm-odd-dee-eb." Wildcard nodded. The tragic death
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7painted Icelandic landscapes onto goatskin canvases with a brush made from her "forest hairs" and a palette comprised of her excrement. Guntaar sighed heavily. "Bjork, be-bee," he
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6New Hampshire, the hippest, most-happening, walking-est Apocalyptic commune in America! Glad to have you aboard, Jesus!" Jesus frowned. "It's pronounced hay-zeus." Ibrahim grinned
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6It is also my FAST FORWARD! And my PAUSE! In fact, that ONE BUTTON performs EVERY FUNCTION!" It annoys me when he raises his voice like that, but I pity him, his broken body, and
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7to the girls, I'll send an S.O.Ssskkkzzztttttttt "Hey, why'd you do that?" Walt removed his wireless headphones, glaring at Elaine who held the phonograph needle. "It's WORLD," she
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3mountain. A tough slog, but the admiral's subconscious was determined, much more so than the morose man himself. When he awoke, he discovered himself in a tent on a ledge in a base
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6misfit group of friends gather at Stonehenge where the last druid performs a rite of questionable authenticity. He distributes "candy" to Nate and the others, and 60 minutes later
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3a handkerchief which was soaked in snot. "Sorry," said Pennywise, "but I've had a serious cold." Dirk tossed the hanky into a fire which burned over the grave of one "Mittens".
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1awkward and unsure of myself. It dawned one me: re-puberty radiation! "Oh no," I whispered, falling to my knees. But the citizens needed me; I keyed in the reactor shutdown code,
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2Limp Bizkit, Prodigy, and Einstreuzende Neubaten hits. The Nashville art elite were having none of their shenanigans, though. They showed up in a mob at the motel one night, armed