11 Folds
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the day he died. The doctor declared it a heart attack, due to suspected pent-up Curly envy. After hearing this, Moe got "Curly rage" which, unlike Larry, he let out immediately. -
4
"CHITTER CHITTER CHITTER!" All nearby windows shattered along with certain bones in a few passerby. Well, he didn't expect that. Cicada man fled the scene, fearing lawsuits.
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Well, except for the eyestalks, but that's neither here nor there. I took her to dinner, but tragedy struck when I found her body doesn't react well to salt.
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The eggs crashed through the ceiling, crushing their captor, but broke through another floor too, ruining a dinner party. They then continued down to the earth's core.
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the poor fool who let it rip was trampled to death. A team of people in hazmat suits rushed in, only to find it was merely kinda stinky, but the damage was already done.
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ed, not realizing that in spite of looking like a regular Joe, I was in fact a powerful deivore; I'd already consumed most of the Egyptian gods, and half the Greek pantheon.
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. Together, they shouted, "Whole Foods is owned by Amazon!" Some of the hipsters chose not to hear it. Others were repulsed and left the store. But the cognitive dissonance was
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2
The local wildlife keeps finding its way into my house, no matter how well I try to secure it. Just this morning, I awoke to a buck sniffing at my laptop, and a raccoon sifting thr
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5
millennia! Well, I suppose it wasn't REALLY her horse. It kinda just showed up at Mom's ranch one day and decided to stay. It even lets her ride it. Guess a 40,000 year old horse
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along, oblivious to the now-poisoned burgers. The customers' heads bobbed along as they ate their Raid-soaked meals. A greedy doctor nearby suddenly smiled, but he didn't know why.
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you venture too close to the surface and get evaporated off by the sun. You are now a water molecule in gaseous form. You are NOT happy about this new situation.
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1
Signed, A Desperate Critic" Tom put the message in a bottle and cast it out to sea. 3 weeks later, a different bottle floated to shore, with a check for 1 million dollars in it.
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to steal the intelligence from K.R.O.G.E.R. They had cleverly encoded it in the flavors of their food, but his cravings never lied. Once he ate the grapes, he knew their secrets!
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Deterministic Roberts allowed Random Anne to leave the classroom, as it was inevitable anyways. No longer did she have to worry about her classmate's deformity. Her nausea subsided
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Deterministic Roberts allowed Random Anne to leave the classroom, as it was inevitable anyways. No longer did she have to worry about her classmate's deformity. Her nausea subsided
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I was speaking in metaphors, or was it the drugs I had taken? After the gears of my mind made their cerebral dance, I decided it was probably the latter. The sun started singing to
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. The other cushions weren't particularly receptive to my telling, however, which made me very angry. So angry that I started a pillow fight, which was illegal in the cushion empir
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Well, maybe it was, but the attendant was knocked unconscious, so their thoughts on the matter weren't readily available. I decided to drive off and try a different restaurant.
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. Snow Whitw was often confused with another character, much to her annoyance, and wanted to use the golden apple to exact revenge on all those idiots. But the cat wouldn't let go
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The flower smelled exactly like a cheeseburger tasted, causing even the monk, with all their years of detachment, to raise an eyebrow. I wasn't sure if this memory came from a drea