Finished Folds (141—160)
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4showed that picture of himself for fear of being branded a white supremist. Maybe tattoo models and motorcycle builders could embrace nazi symbolism without being shamed, but he
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1I realized that this remake of "The Karate Kid" was just wrong in every way imaginable. Damn that Will Smith and his nepotism! His son is just another spoiled Hollywood brat who
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4broccholi. Fortunately, that particular veggie was on the senior menu. UNfortunately, everything on the senior's menu was sorely lacking in salt and spices of any kind except
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3jeggings were so damn popular. And also why Twitter exploded across the internet. I absolutely loathe Twitter and refuse to participate in Twittering with twats. Such navel gazing!
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3a complete disregard for human life. I guess it was better than the day that he sang all his replies to every question lobbed at him. His humming was bad, but his singing was
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2doubled over in pain, howling and cupping his crotch. This may not have been a funny home video, but the audience around him stared in wonder anyway while he wriggled on the ground
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0stunned the administers of his weekly colonic when absolutely nothing was flushed free of him. Was that even possible? He was there to show them that it was.
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2pricks, anyway. He preferred to stay abreast of current trends and spellings by following Sarah Palin's Twitter feed. Webster DID crown Palin with new word "refudiate," after all.
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3a shrill, "Souuuulll Trrraaaaaiiinnn!" Then silence. It would be the last sound ever processed by my brain and it haunted me for the rest of my days.
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3put on a hat to cover his second face. Naturally. Nothing like two literal faces to make people look twice. The fedora covered most of the back of his head, but left his lips
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1being played the fool. That was no beggar, it was Morgan Freeman in disguise. Actually, it was God in disguise as Morgan Freeman. God always plays Morgan Freeman. Or vice versa.
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3... infact, I loathed going to the county fair with him. He'd always drag me to the "As Seen On TV" tents and walk down the aisles of gadgets with a huge boner. It was embarassing
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5one day my uncle snapped at a children's store when he heard that infamous nursery rhyme. "I'll show YOU Skip Tooda Loo!" he shouted as he opened fire, a spray of bullets
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2personality or three, but we loved her for it. Sometimes she was a drag queen, sometimes a drag king, and sometimes a Boy Scout. Honestly, I'm not sure if Bertha is male or female.
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5ice while he watched reruns of "The Dukes of Hazard." Uncle Jesse thought it was hilarious that he shared his name with a main character from the show. "Them Dukes, them Dukes!"
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3throwing up a little in his mouth. Tommy had his hands full quite literally with her and George had to avert his eyes lest the couple think him some sort of pervert. But he was.
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5tailbone. That would explain all the pain in my ass when I walk. I said as much to her. "I think that's your coccyx," she replied. I just glared at her and her vast vocabulary.
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5Following the incident of his taxed tooth fairy income, he swore never to pay taxes again. Let them threaten him with punishment in prison, he didn't care. This was a matter of
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6his unfortunate pairing with Bridget Smith at the neighborhood's Festivus key party. Between the airing of grievances and the moans of tangled, naked strangers, the Smith house was
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3clapped soundlessly in the aisles and the rest of the audience followed their lead. That would explain why the theater was so quiet after my mime performance. It was only fitting.