Finished Folds (261—280)
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12think it has something to do with the name "Wayne." It reminds me of that old show, "Wayne's World." You know those two were high on something.
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2as the two contestants unexpectedly took their wrestling match into the large vat of pudding. The judges mentally noted - next time, mix the pudding afterwards, not before.
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4violently in the afterlife. Timmy laughed. "That car was older than me!" But his humor faded with the gravity of his situation in the moment when the car severed his earthly bond.
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5bedazzled merkin the likes of which I'd never seen - and believe me, I know my way around the local Renaissance Faire. It was amazing. To this day, the memory leaves me speechless.
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5are the absolute worst vermin to contend with, I had learned that from my time with Orkin. I was Top Exterminator for three months out of the year! That's nothing to sneeze at.
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5She has a habit of tasting other people's food without their permission. It wouldn't be so bad if she'd order herself more than a glass of water before filling up on our samples.
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4"It's chlorophyll," he declared, pointing at a glass of greenish liquid on the table, "The fountain of youth!" I eyed him suspiciously. "So you're a plant vampire then," I replied.
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5I remembered the dread that would overtake me when I looked at my Raggedy Ann doll. My mind recoiled in horror and leapt to the time I saw Mickey Mouse in only half a costume.
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2my wits about me and went over my options - croquet mallet or monkey wrench? I was having trouble deciding which would be more appropriate when out of the corner of my eye, I saw
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6pesto and old sneakers. It actually smells better than you'd expect, you should try it some time. Anyway, I finished showering and headed to the kitchen.
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4actually be quite comfortable, depending on the cushiness of the corpse. Luckily, this carcass was hefty. It would have been preferable to have a fresher corpse, but I digress.
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2"Silence!" He cried out desperately, slamming his hands over his ears. But the voices didn't quiet. It was then that he realized... the voices were in his head.
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2To this day, I hate the color lavender. Also, I hate the smell of feet and the sound of velcro, to smaller degrees. Since then, I insist that all my fastenings are snap buttons.
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7smooth sailing when you have a chef, chauffeur, shopper, trainer and pro giftwrapper on your personal bankroll. I laughed heartily in my kitchen. Damn, it was great being me.
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2With a triumphant wave of my hand, I laid out the night's trash treasures, a cornucopia of rubbish. My cat's eyes lit up and in her purr, I knew that she would never run away again
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4made my stomach flutter as I considered the pros and cons of having a transparent tongue. In the end, I decided that true love would beat out the desire for a colored organ.
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2hoodie pulled tight around me, I slipped on my infra-ray goggles. Try to get the jump on me, will you? I'll show them a surprise birthday party they'll never forget.
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6Then again, I'm rather prone to accidents. My friends know to keep me away from open manholes, propped ladders, and yellow gummi bears.
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3Yet, I get a feeling of patriotism when I think of it. American does make a fine grilled cheese sandwich. So good in fact that I once ate only grilled cheese for two whole weeks.
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6So, of course, I go out of my way to pet it. Several minutes and a small pool of drool later, my job is done. I wipe the excess cat saliva on my mother's couch. I hate that couch.