11 Folds
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2
A serene fog cuddled Oldblock Manor in the heat of a summer's day, cocooning it gently. A large dog lay on the lawn, snoring in harmony with the breeze that was fluttering across -
4
The miserable British rain ambled down my window pane without enthusiasm. As I looked out onto the street, an ambulance whizzed past, shrieking at the top of it's voice. "Damn,
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3
people stared at her. For she was not only beautiful, but had three breasts. While this disgusted many women, it continued to arouse men: they would fall at her feet, believing
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2
"I love you." There was a heavily pregnant pause. The pause started having contractions as the receiver of this statement stuttered. "I, er," he coughed, searching for the
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5
"Apparently Zizzi is a French slang word for penis," the camp Hermione Granger look-alike drawled matter-of-factly. The passengers on the Tube train shuffled awkwardly, their
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3
I have a fetish about toes. I have ever since I was born.
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6
Life is hard for chewing gum. Imagine being packed, pristine, in a little cardboard envelope, only hours later to be chewed by any undesirable who should choose to purchase
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3
"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON". Tim shouted into the cold midnight air. Tim was going through a midlife crisis, which involved streaking and keeping chickens in his study. Yes,
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5
"The end is nigh!" shouted a elderly lady with a compromising sandwich board plastered to her ample bosom. Some people shot her worried looks, wondering if she had escaped from
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5
"The end is nigh!" shouted a elderly lady with a compromising sandwich board plastered to her ample bosom. Some people shot her worried looks, wondering if she had escaped from
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3
"Hey, d'you wanna hear a joke?" said the excitable middle aged man. "I made it up myself.". "Sure." I said. "Okay!" He coughed. "What did one olive say to the other olive?".
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3
"Hello, America!" shouted a mouse down the microphone. Of course, this being a mouse, it only came out as "Squeak-squeak, Squeeaak!". The President looked baffled. Was this
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5
"Hey, you!" I looked up. A guy on a Ferris Wheel was waving manically at me. "My name's John. We're gonna get married! And have a little dog called Ponce!" I gave him the thumbs up
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3
"Hey, Ninja 2.0! Get your ninja-y little arse over here!" shouted Benny. The ninja slunk up to him silently, a resigned expression on his expressionless face. "What the f*** do you
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2
hear her frail whimpering. I knew what I needed. I stood in front of the rack of candles, slavering. Then there was a creak. The shelf fell on top of me, and I was dead. Probably.
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5
The girl leaned lazily on the bar, taking a drag of an electric cigarette. Then she dropped it, and crushed the metal under the mighty power of her stiletto boot. She was in the
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1
"I knew you'd come back, son." The blind old man patted a lamp-post, coughing and wheezing. The lamp-post remained silent, inanimate. "Dontcha want to tell your old Dad all about
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6
I rifled through the cardboard box, looking for my old toy gun. Headless barbies vaulted out of the box and something sticky met my fingers at the bottom. 'Hey, this feels like...'
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6
He dropped the coffee cup in the sink and sat on the sofa to turn on the news. "... Paul is dead" said the newsreader "or is it all a hoax?". The screen turned to fuzzy snow and
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3
Their leader waved his handkerchief menacingly, as his gang tied their bells to their calves. They started to encircle us with their sticks, as my men danced to the tune of