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leftover 3-bean and tunafish cassarole, with a hint of shame. I couldn't tell her I didn't win the spelling bee. Antidisestablishmentarianism's hard to spell with a hangover and -
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As this was the Nobel prize for grilled cheese sandwich. Not just any sandwich either, you see these were made by Flo from Mel's diner. Cooked with a left handed spatula on
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young blonde intern wanted thhe job. It was her life long dream to be a beautician, for dogs. She could imagine curling the golden locks of the Lassie, Benji and Ole Yeller. But
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Mom wanted the cat to stay in the basket on top of the fridge. She frantically searched for her roll of duct tape. That seemed like a good idea. But what about the stapler? The cat
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mood. "That damn Heinz Ward and Heinz Field and Heinz Heinz Heinz" he kept saying. God I want some ketchup. That's what this sandwich is missing. And love, like my mothers meat
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Tuesdays are the day I get the most done. Most Tuesdays, but this one was different. My cat Wednesday was sick this particular Tuesday. She'd been sick since Friday. All Sunday
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decided to go home. On the way home he
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you had to shave your entire body. Then they made you refer to the band leader as "El Matador" and they only let you eat lima bean tamales. It was probably the worst 6 weeks of m
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bus pass. Roro kept thinking of ways to tell Dinkinarius Dougle Dawg that his girlfriend, Chlamydia was really Dinkys twin sister. Even though they all had slept together. Christma
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"We're of to the Crystal Cathedral to hear Bill Graham lecture about them homosexuals," grandpa screamed. His dream was to travel route 66 in search of his long lost love,
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That's the life of the lonely greens keeper. Chasing varmints and picking up stray balls. Not a lot of single lady action at the country club. But Bill liked it that way, free to
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"I'm tired of all the PBR cans scattered around my Prius. Next time I'll give them bread-n-butter pickles laced with LSD" said Fernando. But he couldn't do that he was a Buddhist.
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fly south in the rain." Harry thought Cooper was starting to loose it again. It had been 17 days since the last time Cooper heard those voices in his head. They always told him to
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Luckily the Catholic nun librarian knew exactly what to do. You'll need a quart of caster oil, 5 ball bearings and a plastic turkey baster. Take 2 kittens and lightly season with
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threw down his copy of "Knocked Up & Milky" and rolled up his sleeves. This was the last time that clogged toilet was going to make a fool of him. Four hours and 13 screws later
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on his uni-brow. Like a giant brown furry caterpillar above his eyes signaling this was going to be a long cold winter. Worse than the winter of 95 her mother talked about so much.
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ze golden nipple? Were your brothers hairless and mean or were they furry and gentle? It seems that most had a paper route and enjoyed fine cabbage coleslaw. Your father left when
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in trying to grow the rare albino rhubarb. It was like a Freudian dream to see his mother in a bikini harvesting rhubarb. But alas he was now married, his mother was going to
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Zimmer to appear with the baby goat. He wanted to try Rachel Ray's new goat rissiotto with flambead chick peas that everyone was talking about. The goat got loose and began
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some form of Morse Code. I think it blinked "This is GOD. Bring home toilet paper." But I don't really speak spanish or Morse Code. So I hopped on my Shetland pony, Mr Sprinkles