5 Folds
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1
Link passed the time by jerking off to his personal fantasy of filling up Princess Zelda's mouth with hot piss. -
1
"I'm also thinking about stabbing you in the nutsack, dragging the knife back to your asshole, and using your ballsack-blood in a Chinese virility elixir."
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0
There I lie, covered with warm piss, eating cold Ramen -- Chicken flavor.
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1
He plucked a piece of shit instead.
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2
the bomb technician was supposed to be, but instead of the bomb technician it was B'chugerroth, the duke of deepest dread! Using nearly all of his floating black tentacles, he
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0
After ramming the massive black dildo up my ass, I poured a glass of wine and turned on the TV -- it was "Dan Rather Reports" on HD.net.
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2
ounce of my piss remained after venting my urine reserves into the delicate crotch fabric of my Armani suit. He put his one free palm over my chin, his fingernails in my very gums.
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0
chew through the plastic and escape underground, where he would slowly absorb the dark energies of B'chugerroth, the shadowy lord of black intentions.
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2
The boots told me they wanted to kill. I found the homeless guy sleeping in a dirty old box and sawed his head off with the shoehorn.
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3
she met her dragon-boyfriend, Hank. Not long after, she started coming home with burn marks on her face, and sank into a deep depression of self-loathing.
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4
find some other way out of their living-room tomb. Luckily, there was an escape hatch buried below the carpet, but it required a key embedded in one of their skulls.
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0
lot of everybody present in the place. Those that put up any resistance were brutally shot in the left arm, the right arm, both knees, and even through the cheeks.
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1
tits so big they'd rip the poker face right off of my ass -- if this were a game of rectal blackjack.
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4
It had been a long, tiring day. Unfortunately I lied awake in bed, unable to decide if my insomnia was due to my erection or devastating chicken-nugget farts that choked the air.
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1
to his surprise, it began showing the pornographic film, "Tiny Sluts, Gaping Butts".
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2
homosexual. As he took more sips of his wine, he felt his inhibitions slipping away. "The next day", he thought, "I'm gonna ask a guy if I can suck his cock like a toothless fish."
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3
HIV-infected needle from the secret compartment in my shoe, and stabbed it into the unsuspecting faces of my victims. Sometimes I hit the cheek, other times I hit the eye.
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1
He was first raped in Boy Scouts, by Scout Master Saul -- with various objects not easily raped into someone's freshly un-raped body. He tried to think of fruit -- but got meat.
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1
One day, after jerking off furiously, I realized that B'chugerroth was coming, and I knew I had to warn others - and ask them to tell my story -- but my story is shit!
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0
the footsteps got so loud, as loud as the footsteps of a million marching soldiers, and after that -- I grabbed onto his horn and muttered the teleportation spell. Safe at last.