"You're under Seizure Regulation fifteen." That meant no trial because the fifteen regulations covered espionage and terrorism. What a joke he thought, but the Borg

He rode into town on Monday (his horse). The actual weekday was a Thursday. Frank "the Bank Thief" O'Reily was an odd one. He wore one black boot and one brown, and he never forgot

Ben & Jerry's has a new Pot Brownie Batter ice cream, which means dieting is officially a non-thing. I hide my stash in a secret compartment in my water bottle. Dogs always sniff

Manuel driving his marine Oldsmobile down the bridge was just trying to get home in Queens when his old friend just gave up on him...He never thought that day would come!

Was there a way out? The tunnel seemed to go on forever. The wolf sniffed anxiously at a pile of logs left abandoned on the tiled floor. It wanted

He grasped the window-ledge, peeked his head over enough to see what was happening inside. Let the fantasy grow, build, until he was standing next to her, in his head - ready to

"It's a novel. See that's the author's name on the cover.", Tess was excited. "I don't get it. One person wrote it? How's the gameplay?" I tried to show interest. "Just start here.

The man saw that the wall was tall and all he did was fry an egg in hopes that in some abstract way

Why do I hate Bono he wondered.

Cheney handed out thin strips of paper. "What the hell's this?" asked Rumsfeld. "It's a political litmus test,when you lick it it changes color. Red means your a commy. Green and

Bobbie took his beats with him. He dragged his street machine speaker box down fifth avenue and let it vibrate the shop windows. He wanted everyone to enjoy his good taste in music

Throughout the entire universe, before anything even existed, there has been one question. This question: "How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck can chuck wood?"

Writer's block is a bitch.

In retrospect, perhaps Freddie Mercury should have worn braces.

Well, we have the test results in. Your blood lab reads you have a nougaty center.

Dubbed "Woodtricity," the newly-discovered source of biopower had a controversial side-effect: radioactive, porous nodules appeared on the equipped trees, oozing a sticky mucus.

He sat there, paralyzed for 2/3 of "Coming to America." While Eddie hammed it up, he stared at his hand. So close to hers. Her was glistening with fake butter popcorn grease

"Call Rich, tell him I need Botox real bad!", Dame Polly said while getting a pedicure. "What is the phone number?", her pedicurist asked. Dame Polly gave her the number.

if a banana ate a monkey, what's the result? i mean, isn't it supposed to be the other way around? but no, i was at the zoo and i saw a banana eating a monkey, and not in that way

"I'm mad, I am," he declared, quite soberly. "Now you can't trust my word, and my will will be nullified!" He gave a high-pitched cackle, then a calm and refined sip of tea.