Donald Trumps hair whispered to him now. It was his special money genie hair. It was his hair that gave him the good ideas. The only condition was that he couldn't cut it, no

"These are not the droids you are looking for..." said the mysterious cowled figure. "THOSE are the droids you are looking for." he pointed to Wall-E and Twiki, "Get 'em!"

I'm too sexy for my fold. too sexy for my fold. Yes, I'm too sexy for my fold.

4.16.2117 Log: My grandpa was just telling me horror stories again about how they used to eat animal flesh for sustenance and literally cut into live bodies as a form of medicine.

"A megalodon isn't a massive Cenozoic shark so much as it is an idea - nay, a beacon of light, a beacon of light with 7-inch teeth." The museum guide was wearing on Kira. She snuck

"The 31st weekly meeting of Goat club is now called to order.The secretary will now read the bylaws", said Great Goat John. "Rule #1 Never talk about Goat club. Rule #2 No Helgas"

"I'm back" She whispered tauntingly into her victims ear. "*Giggle* D'ya miss me. Hmm!! Did'ya did'ya!! " Choking on his own blood the man desperately tried to reply. There would b

He looked down at the village through the eye windows. Pulling some ropes, the giant jerked forward. He bellowed through the voice trumpet. "FEE! FIE! FOE! FUM!"

No matter where you were in that dump of a town; there was a higher than likely chance you'd find a lost animal mewling for your help.

I never really thought I'd die, it just sort of happened.

I’m scared of this darkness. To wake up to this every single day is absolutely terrifying. My hands reach out for something, but I can’t feel anything. I have no clue how I landed

Harry Hare and Tatty Tortoise were both classified to run the one hundred meters race at the Olympics and they were both planning their trip to Rio when

memoirs by me

Lord Vartek looked out his castle window and saw the peasants doing their peasantly duties and proclaimed, "Today shall be known as Slingshot Day and all must participate in

This planet was one of the relocation centers the "All-inclusive Society" sent its Mordian "friends." If we were friends why were we stuck on this planet? I hate it here because

Beneath the dense city air lay Hunstanton Pier. At first glance she is ugly, spoiling the consistency of the artificial green grass. You have to look closely to see her true beauty

By age five, she was released from her Skinner box into the wilds of Kindergarten.

He slowly s l o w l y pried the cap off the 22 oz'er under his desk. A seeming success, he glanced around. Nobody noticed. Then he poured the stout into an opaque mug. Ahhh Friday.

"There, how does that feel?" "Oh, you put it in already?" Chuckle. "Yes, I told you it was small. We're going to put another one in. How's that?" "Fine, I guess." Acupuncture

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