You ate my sandwich again, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?! It was right here on my desk and you were here too and now that's the second time my sandwich disappeared! Why don't you admit

Took my next left foot jump and bet it against that other thing I did in the past that you all are mad at me for, still. Only my pride covered my bet. Snake eyes never looked so g

The was lived a princess who was so incredibly

The best that we can gather is that today is the 23rd day since it happened. We probably should have started this on that first day but we didn't. There are only 31 of us left now.

Betty had eyes that said come here, lips that said kiss me, arms and torso that said hold me all night long, but the rest of her body said, “Fillet me, cover me in cornmeal."

Ad hominem grits can be quite tasty.

I learned everything I needed to know in kindergarten. Like "What mine is mine and so is yours", "Show me your and I'll show you mine!", "Afternoon naps are OK Nooners are better"

Gadhafi hunkered down each time he heard another explosion, maybe hiding at the Sam Missile site had been a mistake. But with all those damn Guns and Missiles it sure looked safe.

ABOUT A WEEK AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I

W... T... F....

He'd always been confused: if you could give a rat's ass did that mean you cared more, or less, than if you couldn't give a rat's ass. While seemingly inane, it was relevant to

Well, I suppose you only live once. Not that skydiving would ensure the continuation of that life. Nonetheless, the love of my life was convinced it would finally rid me of my fear

"Où est la carotte?" she said. "Ah! Ici la carotte!" he replied. "Où est le banane?" he asked. "Ah! Ici le banane!" she responded. "Où est la courgette?" "Ah! Ici la courgette!"

I told myself to not give them any subtext indicators or anything that could be construed as subtext indicators. I dragged their noses in how meta it was. I even wrote this sentenc

Help!Help! my mother is trying to push me into the well.Hearing that, my mother came near me.IN the sleep, i started pulling my mother's hair .Later, she told "stop pulling ....

they consisted of poles planted in the ground with wires strung along the tops to set off grenades and mines if the

Once upon a magical time, there was a young Forest Rascal named Peppermint Rabbit Friend. Peppermint loved nothing more than skipping down the forest trails, singing joyous songs

Oh no, this is it, it's happening. iBurnout, I've reached the point where I'm no longer satisfied by anything my iPhone offers, no app, no update, no goddamn notification. I long

Then wonder woman sold her invisible jet to the third in command of Al Qaeda. He was not as charming as Bin Laden was, but Bin was dead. She sold the invisible jet for

Violet enters.Men in the room notice her presence.Her perfume and how she carries herself with haughtiness,makes some feel intimidated and oddly attracted.She stares at a mirror