"Sure, the world is full of crazy people. But what is to be done?" asked Lenin17. "Where's my golden limo?" implored Lenin14. "I know what I seek. Please direct me to the Zone,"

His eyes glazed as he looked into the dairy section. What did they put into a White Russian? Would non-dairy creamer work? Did they ever try buttermilk? At 3 am, his thoughts went

What is it with you people?

I got 399 freakin' points!!!!!!!

Harold the Bear was missing his hat. It was pointy and made of red felt, like a garden gnome's. He made inquiries with his forest brethren. "Have you seen my hat?"

She made her excuses and left me 2 sleeping pills along with gaps around the house and in my heart. Now half broken and half hopeful of new new lover, careful I don't add to the

The unfathomable depths of the alien ocean beneath him terrified him. The thoughts of creatures unknown striking him from the darkness beneath. Perhaps he should use a boat, but no

If one more woman claimed to have cornered the market in emotions then Ned was going to hug his pillow. At least men don't pretend, Ned was an empath's empath. He could sense

The pink brain sits on my desk with a green hotai to keep it company. The brain, a gift from the oral deaf education people, thinks it is sooo smart. The rabbit just looks on

Her kids loved dinosaurs, but she couldn't take them to the natural history museum with its lies about evolution and how the earth had existed longer than the Bible said.

"There's no place like home. There's no place like-" She opened one eye, to check if anything had changed. It hadn't. She shut it again. "-home. There's no-

And then he said, "What about this: Stevie Ray Parker Jr. where blues guitar meets ghostbusters?" And that's when the place went nuts, Carl had just

I knew I shouldn't have done it, but our relationship has always been adversarial in the extreme. When she challenged me on what other ways there were to skin a cat, the gauntlet

The Government was shut down today. Let the anarchy begin! Step 1. Prank call NASA. Houston you have a problem. 2. Night at the Museum. Party at the Smithsonian. 3 Vandalize the

Hillenbrand stuck it out and was proud of himself. Nobody who had scaled these heights before had

Barefoot, she bravely stepped outside to be the first--and probably only--one 2 make footprints, not shoe-prints, in the

I stood upon the hill and gazed across the scene before me. Lined up in rows, my brainwashed friends and peers marched slowly towards me. My army knew of only one solution. We

I woke up panting as if just ran a marathon. I could now fairly remember the dream but for sure it wasn't a good one. I opened my dream diary and tried my best to recall it suddenl

"Hey guys, I'm gonna fly!" Said that one guy at work

The first item in his inbox was another rejection from the New Yorker. They had no interest in his zombie stories, zombie cartoons, or zombie theater reviews. The next message