"A pirate's sweat tastes like whiskey." I look at William (instead of drop kicking his chest) and say, "and you know this how?"

Once upon a time while attending GSU, I was having the time of my life in Reading 4232 class and I noticed that my cell phone kept vibrating out of it's mind. So I decided to

In less than 24 hours after I drank the Kefir with Live & Active Cultures I began to feel a strange and disconcerting activity in my gut. Lactobacillus acidophilus

Midst the impending chaos, I felt it was high time to make fudge brownies.

My theatrical adaptation of McCarthy's "The Road" -- loyal to the novel except for the substitution of the father and boy with Batman and Robin -- was a complete and utter

The dog stopped barking, birds ceased their songs, and silence dominated everything.

I had barely survived a Toxoplasma Gonzii infection, only to have bookworms infect my brain. I danced recklessly over cars during rush hour, lured by paper dust and deckled edges,

I am so excited about this weekend. I will be able to enjoy my friends and have a break from school. Well at least for a day that is. When I make it through Methods I I will be the

I pretent not to see her dancing with her ex boyfriend

"But mom, I can't do the laundry when there's a cellar parallax. The detergent keeps moving." Mother rolled her third eye. She grabbed her trinoculars and investigated the

True story: I was stopped at a light, really going for the gold. I had this crusty booger entrenched deep in the nasal fortress and when I plunged extra deep I scooped out

The mad scientist bowled his third strike in a row. If there was one thing he loved more than trying to take over the world, it was bowling. Something about the sound of pins

I had let my dreadlocks be for years, so I cut them with great trepidation. But it was the morning of my Science Fair, and "Bacterial Analysis of Hair" was last-minute brilliance.

It's time you knew the truth. I was kicked off the fire department 8 years ago. All those times I said I was putting out fires, I was really

there once was a grain that had no name he wanted it bad and got really sad for he was simple and covered in pimples

How to cure an anemic dolphin: First, take the dolphin and

"You'll never catch me coppers," the 80-year-old Ms. Gordling screamed out the window of her newly acquired (stolen) cherry red Ferrari.

As the great beast rose above a shattered Tokyo, it's nostrils flaring in triumph, a giant spaceship landed in front of it, and out of that spaceship came a giant robot made of

"Katmandu! Australia! Fermentation and defenestrations! There are only a few things that these words share in common and if you can guess what they are I won't

I remembered last night. She was sexy, gorgeous, and she really knew how to do it right. I started to get up when pain erupted from my stomach. I looked down and saw my missing