"Hey you guys, look at this bagel I toasted. See a familiar face?" "...Is that..." "Mel Gibson? You bet it is. Now, should we build a Mel Gibson Bagel Museum, or just eat it?"

Totally random words! 1) Table. 2) potatoes. Pppppooooooottttaaaatttttooooooeeeesss! *says potatoes randomly in the corner.* 3)

Renee walked away from me and I was never so glad. Now I could get on with my life. Getting out of my relationship (if that's what you'd call it) with Renee took some doing, but

None of them really knew what they were doing.

There once was a boy named Romario, he liked to play soccer. One day he was outside playing in his front yard and all of a sudden

"Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.""PersiennePersiennePersienne""No meio do caminho tinha uma pedra.Tinha uma pedra no meio do caminho."Five languages she spoke and poetry still

"Ok." "Raw, raw as raw." "Raw?" "Did you see my lips move? And hear sound come out of my face?" "Yeah." "I said raw!" "Ok, but dude, why are you so pissed?" "We ate it!" "So?"

Have you ever noticed that "Arkansas" is just "Kansas" with an "Ar" in front of it?

Mia wrote out daily schedules solely for the thrill of scribbling over them. As an agent of minor chaos, such was her way of life. Unfolding a sock could start a chain reaction of

Ben & Jerry's has a new Pot Brownie Batter ice cream, which means dieting is officially a non-thing. I hide my stash in a secret compartment in my water bottle. Dogs always sniff

Flint Paper stared blankly behind his desk at the woman in front of him. "You want me to do what?"

Over the years, I realized that popularity looses its value which leaves the popular people with no more power.

Lukewarm orange juice. Two burnt eggs, stale coffee, cold oatmeal. It was a perfectly ruined breakfast. That's why Pat ordered it. He wanted to have a miserable start for the week.

She sat with her back against the blood soaked walls and stared at the shadow in front of her. She wasn't afraid, she made him do this. After all what is a mutant monkey without

He stood in my backyard wading pool with his slicked back hair, chino cut-offs, Rage Against the Machine shirt, Marlboro cigarettes, and rubber-foam Hulk hands. "Miss me baby?"

His bite was mighty and he kept his ship a-tidy. Dan Betward- lobster Fisherman extraordinaire, well, there was undoubtedly no doubting the man's flair to snare a good crustacean.

Well I didn't get the job because under 'If you could be any type of dried fruit, what type would you be, and why?' I'd put 'Apricot; and your mother. Same reason.' I'm still not

We the people of Del Playa Avenue in Isla Vista, California, USA, on this day March 27, in the 2013th year of Our Lord, do hold these truths to be self-evident: that you can not

Dr. Frankenstein looked on in piteous illumination as Igor carefully laid out the body of poor John Keats beneath the Monster's platform. "For his negative capability," Igor exp

"Let's play Doctor." "Err.. Dr. Curleigh, You ARE my Doctor." "Well I want to be the patient this time. Here put on my smock & stethoscope." "Yes Dr...." "... and don't call me Dr.