My life as an on-call phone-answerer for rickets telethons wasn't all glitz and glamour.

His beanie said it all. The blonde "dreds" finished off whatever the beanie couldn't say. He worked at the "Genius Bar" in the local Apple Store which pretty much meant

Lady Gaga strode down the red carpet in a dress made entirely of live babies clinging to her pale, nude body. Little did she know.

She was pissed off and really needed a cigarrette but it was her last one.Chris couldn't decide either to save it for later or to burn the thing right now.Fights about money drove

So, the other day I was drowning my sorrows at the local bar, when Mr. Clint Eastwood himself came up to me, and said "Hey kid, crying is for babies, come with me." And so he took

My mom gave me a lollipop so i ate it and then i passed out. I woke up and in the chucky cheeses ball pin and got up then passed out again and woke up in the mall with this

One day, I was at my friends house and we were going to go to Walmart. We decided to run there instead of driving there, so when we were running there we saw a talking and dancing

Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a shining castle made of ...

In 2012 the world is said to end on they Mayan Calender (December 21st), I would

First day of school and i've already found a class i dislike.I have no friends and my assigned seat sucks really bad.My only form of entertainment is the computer in front of me

After angrily looking around for my charger i realize that

Socked in again, she thought as she looked over the lagoon.. "The weather man is on crack," and knows nothing about Alaska

Hurricand Irene is comming to the eastern coast to create havoc, first thing I'd save would be...

Oscar the Grouch was pissed. All this Greening of America crap meant way less trash for him. He was "Green" before the hipsters co-opted it. He needed to get even so he

If I was going to be the best horse-whisperer in the world, I needed to get rid of the competition. First target: Robert Redford.

Eros, the impossibly beautiful and terrifying God, was sitting in the garden of Psyche's palace. Under his naked feet the path of opals, amethysts and pearls glistened in the sun.

The rain fell, noiseless. I hadn't even noticed that it was raining until he put an umbrella over my head. I knew he wouldn’t ask what was wrong and I wasn't planning on offering

Clara slept in a semi-recumbant crouch on the floor, unable to get comfortable. Tired of her life as an overnight paralegal, she desired escape. What was so pressing that it requir

Doug'ys Dad done died doin' Doris Dilkins during Demsicola's Derby Days.

Dirk was so attached to Christine that when she met an untimely end in a car accident, he was heartbroken. At the funeral in the junkyard (he called it the car cemetery) his eulogy