It had not been a good idea to eat the three day old pizza his roommates left after skipping town without paying the rent. Gordon was sick as a dog when the landlord rang

I hate taking sleeping pills. Apparently, I get up in the middle of the pm and buy stuff from Infomercials. I only know this bc today, I received a HarryPotter ninja sword.Yesterda

DL: "So what's your trick?" SH: "Well, I can knit with my feet" DL: "Socks?" SH: "No,

I lay on a gurney to be wheeled to my appendectomy. Nurse pricked my arm and chatted: "Shot works pronto, so you're disorientated and speak funny. On to your heart surgery!". Chid.

Somehow Jasper got himself targeted. From overhead one could see the PariahNet app subscribers start to converge on him like metal filings toward a magnet. The WNYC news chopper

"...and if you are one of the first 50 callers today, we'll double your order at no additional cost!" I called immediately. I had to have the Tiddy Bear in every color!

I miss my cat so much.

Testing This OUt

"Whichever way we approach the problem, everyone here is going to get screwed," moaned Pete. Sophie sucked on her mint reflectively. "How about we draw a bubble on a flip chart and

Paul locks his front door and heads to his 1998 rusted toyota camry when suddenly the civil defense siren began to sound. paul pausing with a confused look on his face looks up

"Just this once, I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." The needle remained stable. "It was in the Winter of 1972 . I just had to get out, so I

THIS IS THE LAST STORY EVER ALLOWED TO BE POSTED ON THIS SITE. Yes, the proud site is ceasing operations to make way for Stephanie Meyer's personal blog. That's the cold hard truth

Having found two quarters and a nickel back in '07, I could never break the habit of checking the coin return on pay phones. I pushed the door open with my index finger and felt

The man beside me picked up a burger, chewed, and swallowed. Soon, that burger was gone. Then, another. And another. After the fourth or so, I began to wonder if he would ever

"Have you ever noticed how the titles for online porn videos sound an awful lot like Indian names?" My wife's observations had grown inane since receiving the iPad, a gift from

Head reeling, he watched her slumped figure disappear into nothingness. "Could it be?" He thought to himself, almost laughing at how ridiculous his explanation was for what he saw.

I clicked my tongue. "Marcus, it really is a shame we don't hate the same people. We would have made a great team." I could see the terror in his eyes as I loaded my gun and

Anna loved Tori, even though Tori was the ephemeral sort. Today, she was a prog epic, going on 27-minute tangents about... centaurs? the occult? Anna fell asleep on her mozz sticks

She ran her hands through her hair, breathed deeply, winked, and said, "

One afternoon the Dalai Guru of Reincarnation got hopped up on lemongrass chiffon and made a few bad decisions.