Joel Hodgson regretted leaving Mystery SCience Theater 3000 because

I pulled up to Lunar Outpost 43, spent and filthy. "Lemme get 2 proteins, a carbo, and a double rehydrated Absinthe." I turned to the Martian next to me. "Looong day." It

He was attaching braces to the pumpkins teeth. "Ding Dong." He went to the door & opened "Trick or Treat!" He handed out toothbrushes. "They're sonic screwdrivers for your teeth"

To be one with the Tao is to be in balance with the dual polarities of your nature. One must be in flow with the universe. Which is why I have trouble with stop lights.

After being stopped countless times in customs due to my adermatoglyphia,I developed synthetic fingerprints from breathable membrane used in contacts. What started as a convenience

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Guten Morgen tönte es aus dem Garten.

I looked at my watch. It wass one of those binary gadget things, so it took me while to figure out the time, but there were still a few hours left. Good. I crept carefully through

There is a land where the temperature is always nice, the trees are always green and the flowers always bloom. Everybody is always smiling, which is nice but also quite boring, to

I picked up Rosy on a run to Jacksonville. ME:"Where ya headed,hun?". R:"North,South Carolina." ME:"Where's that? R:"Norths about 90 miles southeast of Due West". ME:"Hold on a sec

It was beyond weird. Ever since I had clicked 'engage haptic feedback' on my phone everything I touched vibrated upon contact. It took some getting used to but my girlfriend was

After the gig me and the boys hooked up with the groupies, and as true rock-gods hit up some Charlie and champagne, things spiralled out of control when Jimmy the guitarist smashed

So the Iranian president waited until the US warship was no longer in sight. Then he updated his Facebook status to say

The boys and I would put Freebird on and go for an M60 gun run. When we really got crazy we would change to the 50 cal and put on Simple Man.

She had told me previously there was a lot of weird Geezer's at her house, but one day as we sat in her room she told me how

"...Now this is different," I said. Tiny little bumps were beginning to form on my knuckles. The weird thing was, that they were a sickly green color. "Wonder how this happened..."

There was this website where you typed in someone's name and they would be sent to Hell shortly after. It was called the Hell Correspondence. Everyone said it was just a joke but

My eyes started to see some shapes in the darkness. The hole was big enough to host another guest. The water would probably come from a leaking pipe and a beam of light ...

"Om... elet." And with that, Buddha officially sold out. "Enlightenment has showed me the Way... to Denny's." The commercial aired during an episode of

Although your kitchen may appear safe at first, there is an evil lurking, an abomination of untold proportions, if the dishes are left in the sink long enough then you