"PORRT SIYDE! WE GOT A WHALE!" Yelled Phil as the space whale struck our ship and knocked us on course to the asterisk asteroids.

Today was the end of the world, but no one seemed to care. That is until

Gladys was 85 when Miss Dinnerman, a tortoise, arrived in the yard and are her bouguets like they were deliveries from Pizza Hut. "It is so cuthe to watch Miss Dinnerman as she

Stiles is clumsy. He is always getting rekt like a skrub. so stiles said "@MLG_assassins is stupid" and all of a sudden he was being REKT LIKE A SCRUB! then..

We were curled under the streetlight, its gentle glow eclipsing the moon. Snow drifted down past us, the green and blue lights on the street providing it with a quiet glow. We were

OMG!!! It was life threateningly important to watch Mr. Robot NOW before Wanda came by to belt out spoilers- & Mom is calling to blah blah?! "You're remarrying, Mom? Thrilling. But

"Don't do it, man! Just be cool."

*Gasp* The crowd gasped as a dark shadow grew over the city. Peter Parker looked at the source of the shadow and gasped. He took off his glasses and ripped his shirt. It was time.

Carles: Ten years ago a woman was murdered by a russian drag queen called Katya. Yesterday Katya was visited by the son of the murdered woman, his name was Paul.

Little Bo Peep ate all her sheep. She went to the nearby village to hunt more of them.

It's 11:59 at night, so tired. Myt fold si finishgd, just need ton preesc thd "Fold an de oaiss" button- ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Chocolate covered pretzels dipped in caramel coated mint ice ream wasn't enough to drown my disappointment at having been fired by the worlds worst company.

I thought I had been invited to go rollerblading with a friend, but misunderstood. What he really said was, "ROLLERBALDING!" I tried to stop but it was too late. I had the skates

What am I making of this intake? This booze, this gluttony, my Facebook feed trough, the news, the binge-watching? What alchemy occurs in this dust-devil's dissolute crucible? He

I hate looking in the mirror or seeing me naked. I have decided that in order not to have these stripes and polka dots I will join a decoloration gym.

At strip malls, people usually kept their clothes on. But at many abandoned shopping malls, some people sat on the benches naked, ruminating about the passage of time, watching

The trick was to have at least one more world than you had illusions. If you had equal or less the illusions died. But with that extra world you could have the illusions feeding on

It was a dark and stormy night.

Professor Simon looked at me like I had three heads all wearing half moon glasses and pondering away. "So, what you're saying essentially is, time is three cups of coffee, Linda?"

You're not real and you two are only here for moments at a time and then vanish. Like bubbles popping. I don't know anything. I don't feel anything. I'm barely here myself.