Ah, dear Earwig. Most misunderstood, save only our friend Cockroach. I fear you both suffer from unfortunate names. Also, that Wrath of Khan flick didn't really help the earwig out

"Ahh, nothing like a breath of fresh water to calm the nerves," said Dean Charles, who had ditched his smoke-filled lungs for carp gills. He looked dashing in his salmon suit

I saw the sun rising. It was shining. I stopped and saw the sun rising. Rising and shining. The sun was rising. So bright so shining.

Many, many things are funny with enough vodka. However, many things aren't that funny the next day. For example,

Now, answer the following: Where do you see yourself in five years? How about ten years? Fifty? A thousand? How about when the sun is a burnt-out cinder? Huh? How 'bout it?

Hesitating, ashamed, frightened even - Tracy took a deep breath and entered her question into the terminal. "Will my addiction to avocadoes", she typed, "make me fat?". AVOCADOS, b

Bianca cracked quail eggs then mixed in ox foot broth & cachaça. Before the omelete set she added an oyster & bull testicle for good measure. If this didn't unfurl Juan's mastro

Lenin17 & Betty were cast adrift on the indifferent ocean of fate. Their rudderless boat bobbed around until they washed up on the shore of another story to continue their adventur

Best

In mid-summer of the previous year I had exited my home and witnessed something unbelievable. There was a group of nearly 78 women strutting down the road. One of them hollered and

"I know my love is hard for you to bear. But I want you more than all the living. I want you the most." "You are Death." "And you are its Queen. You rule with me."

Sure people liked Andy, Opie and Goober. You have your big fans of Floyd the Barber. But I always had my heart stolen by that self-deprecating officer of the law, my Barney.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

In my world, I look for a girl who truly loves me. I may have been 13 at the time, and she 16. But age didn't matter to me. I still love her, but does she still love me?

A tisket a tasket, a delicious clotted crumpet, tea with milk & their ilk wrapped in silk in a picnic basket delivered by a strumpet. But she dropped it, dropped it, yes on the way

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! One night I was getting freaky in a tree with my boy named

It was with a heavy heart that the Lady Amadaela wished the man farewell, and turned to her new child, the only creature with the potential to end the Entropy. This child...

She was wearing blue cotton stockings. They stretched tight over her knees so I could see the skin beneath. When she crossed her legs, they made a slight scratching sound.

"We need to get off this damn planet -- these people are crazy!" Cappy Dammit might have lacked some joined-up thinking, but he was a Megador of the BBQ. One day in the Drift,

I 'came to' rather than 'woke up'. Where was I? Some kind of expensive hotel room. I was wearing the same clothes I'd had on at the convention. "Hello?" No answer. I ran my hand