The white sun pierced my eyes. I fisted the dirt. My jungle was a key lime green. I could smell the blue of the sky and hear the water slapping the shore. Today I had to

The card read "I am a mother-pheasant plucker. I pluck mother pheasants. I am the pleasantest mother pheasant plucker that ever plucked a mother pheasant " This tongue twister slam

When i was young I would often deface billboard hoardings by painting nude pictures over the female bodies. They called me the quick change artist. I think they knew who it was but

"One English muffin,coming right up!" the waitress jotted it down."Now what do you want on it? Jelly,Jam, Marmalade,Honey,Sorgum,Syrup,Vegamite,Nutella,Butter,Oleo, or Margarine?"

The realization almost cracked Dan Brown's head. There it was staring him in the face. The ultimate Catholic Conspiracy. "Popeyes" was really, "Pope Yes." Holy smokes!

Brunhilda put down her fork. "Why are you wearing a stupid hat?" she asked her husband Jerry. "It helps me think." Her marriage vows hadn't mentioned how to deal with stupid hats

Last he heard, she had become addicted to hand sanitizer and had had to be heavily sedated every time she heard "Rockin' Robin" come over the speakers on the elevator. It wasn't

Plum thought she could become a more famous chef by creating a sauce in her name. Sure, she was drunk on tequila, but Plum had some good ideas while drinking, like mixing

I switched on the electric current. Every follicle rose to attention. I could now move my hair by thought alone.

My head was pounding; it felt like two elephants playing ping-pong on my forehead. I had the television tuned to CNN, but nobody mentioned anything about the bank heist.

I took a crazy chance, but next time I'll be true.

Like the legend of the Phoenix, our ends were beginnings.

"We're toast," said the general. "How am I going to find a sign language negotiator for a deaf hostage-taker at this hour?" He raised fingers in peace, unaware that the translation

The annual Guess How Many "Life is Good" Stickers Are On The Scion competition was in full swing. I counted 26, but Gina swore she saw a campfire one that I missed. 1st Prize

What a day it was turning out to be? No one had ever thought to tell him that they were going out. Strange he thought to himself, why bother at all to b e left all alone. Goodness.

The woman walked down the aisle holding her daughter's hand. The woman said wearily "We are not buying food for imaginary people".

We last left Alfred Hitchcock & Orson Welles running naked through the wilderness, covering themselves, buttcheeks flapping in the wind. "Worst camping trip ever," Orson complained

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I wish my grandmother was here. She'd know what to do. Tomato Soup, Ritz Crackers, Grilled Cheese on White Bread, and a cold cloth for my forehead. The teapot whistled in the

I Don't Know do you know who I am? please help me. He want to but he didn't know who man was. I'm sorry he said I don't, the man well do you at least know where I am? Will your...