Dearest Caleb, [enter][tab] Missionary work blows. The natives of Heekum Holkum won't stop poking my laptop. It's like they've never seen a non-touch screen before. I prayed for

Lion tastes good.Let's establish a beachhead to aggressively hunt their prides. We'll construct breathing apparatus from kelp & trap certain amounts of oxygen. Tuna commandos will

Damn! The neighbour was playing his guitar again. He plucked such particular notes that the sounds reverberated through the wall, up my nose and into my brain where they

We'd arranged to meet at our usual place: under the diplodocus's tail at the museum. Tourists were sitting around surrounded by their possessions like refugees fleeing a war zone

The lesbesbians of Bespin were restless. Heterosexuality in plague-like proportions had ripped through Cloud City and men of all shapes & sizes were hyperdriving erratically toward

Jimmy Puffins was a normal man. He did normal things. He had a normal job. He despised everything that was out of the ordinary. So when one day he spied his neighbor doing somethin

To drum up coffin business Zev decided to sell a calender with young women dressed up as zombies possing with his coffins, so he put an ad in the paper, but when no models

The fishwife knew perfectly well the herring was off, but she sold it anyway. It was a matter of principle she told herself. What self respecting fishwife would keep a herring that

"Lord bless me sir!" said the three-eyed alien as it hover-walked up to Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse's eyes narrowed. "Cletus. Cletus Raybern, is that you?" The Alien extended his

The door opened and I saw a burly man enter. He wore a gray Tshirt with green letters, "Violence is Not the Answer. Neither are Violins. A Capella for Peace." I smiled. Help had ar

In Holstenwall, my hometown a traveling fair arrived & with it came Dr. Caligari. My friend Alan convinced me to visit his show. His somnambulist predicted Alan's death the by morn

One (1) piece Extra Dessert Delights Sugarfree Lemon Square gum + one (1) Stride Sour Patch Kids Sugarfree Redberry gum. Boom; you're welcome. Hello sweet/sour lemon/raspberry wate

If I stand on tiptoe I think I might be able to reach it. I'm worried about what might happen after, if course. Once I've pulled it out, will I be able to put it back again?

When i was reading my book, my brother played a prank on me. He brought a pail of dirty undergarments and put it all over my head. And then i was so fed up that i..........

July 15th, 1478: I decided to write down everything if anything happens to me, so one could pick up from where I finished. I think I'm on a good way to find the secret formula...

Bella Goth had just about had it with the stupid objects blocking the bathroom door. How was she supposed to relieve herself? Her husband Mortimer tried to help her move them but

Frank and Mary Johnson felt shut down, moving through dark water after the school massacre, but when the reporters showed up, they loaded their shotguns on principle, and not one r

George Lucas had re released Star Wars for 870th time.

I placed my order at one of the finest restruants in France. I turned to my friend, impressed with my French skills. "What did you say?" He asked. Just then, police sirens wailed.

The heart they pulled out of the cooler, was from an Iraqi. A 20 year old who'd been wounded by a drone. The doctor took the heart and placed it in Dick Cheney's chest.