"Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" yelled Santa Pirate. "Death from on high!" He launched a tactical nuclear missile from a robotic reindeer drone. The ExFed truck deployed anti-air

Say Seniorita, are we walking down the street on the very same day? Let's get together and call ourselves an institute. We'll call it the Institute for the Preservation of

Fred didn't turn up to work today. He sent a text saying he was in Shanghai & now co-owner of a bar there and wouldn't be coming to work ever ever again.

"It's an interesting case, Detective. Apparently this news crew was filming a man being mauled and shredded by feral cats, when they were all blind-sided by something -- else."

The electric sheep hummed loudly in the corner. This disturbed the dog, evident by his raised lip and yet he did not move, save for an impulsive quiver. There was a loud

The superintendent of schools for the county was understanding, but had some general considerations. "I'm sorry -- The Martian Temple of Xrekhlior in Exile cannot rent our space."

Every day for an hour, she stared at the crystal apple, willing it to move, melt, burn, shatter... anything. And every day it sat glimmering, mocking her... every day until today.

The man lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. The nurse, a girl, in comparison, told him just to call out if he needed anything. He gave no reply, that she could hear, but

Once upon a time, there was a girl that had a pink cow. The cow's name was Tinkerbell, and it was her best friend. The girl and Tinkerbell did everything together!

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I'm Alice. Leaving in an inn. An abandonned inn, full of doors. Which one is the wright? What if I opoen the wrong door? The green one catches my eye. I go through it and a big rat

The first rule of magic is that for every power there has to be an equivalent amount of energy. For a fire ball, it requires at least seven sacrifices. Mice are convenient to carry

"Have you ever noticed how the titles for online porn videos sound an awful lot like Indian names?" My wife's observations had grown inane since receiving the iPad, a gift from

Some people like rain drops on a tin roof. Others like basking in the sun. Kids like to build forts in the snow. But my favorite weather is heads above them all, sleet.

Anna loved Tori, even though Tori was the ephemeral sort. Today, she was a prog epic, going on 27-minute tangents about... centaurs? the occult? Anna fell asleep on her mozz sticks

Somehow, and maybe several times if ever, at an indefinite moment of the day when the seasons themselves were unclear, I might have been brushed by the vaguest of presentiments

There was this guy--said he was a Certified Arse Expert. Turns out he was all mouth & trousers. He couldn't identify an arse if you gave him one on a plate with a cherry on top.

"Push the button and someone will die. In the same time, you will receive one million dollars" - said the note. Jason looked at the content of the box he found at the door. Indeed,

Let me tell you a story about a man named Jedi.

Gilbert was a very large man but gentle in his stride