So let's just say, just purely for hypotheticals and stuff, that I was having sex with that duck. Do you think, theoretically speaking, that could have cause this rash right here?

When you're rife with devastation, there's a simple explanation. You're a toymaker's creation trapped inside a crystal ball. And whichever way he tilts it,

School was about to suck when all of a sudden I ran into the wall. Yep it sucked sooner than I thought and it only began.

Shishkabob was spell-checked, and the internet ordered for the word Higashiosaka to be used instead. This led to an entire city in Japan being grilled. The rugby players fought b

Listen, you've all heard the term slack-jawed yokel before. Y'know, a country bumpkin? A rambling rutabaga? Cauliflower cousin? A crossroads vanilla bean? Well it's neither here no

A couple of months ago I was obducted by aliens, I'd been anal probed and forced to eat alien food.

Don't look back, don't ever look back. I swallowed hard, running as fast as my feeble legs would let me in the freshly fallen snow as I practically hyperventilated. Man, I really

Ida burrowed down the bed & placed her ice cold feet into the crook of her husband's knees. "Stop squealing like a girl! You'll get used to it," she said as he squealed like a girl

The bear slowly unzipped the tent and peered inside. A wide-eyed couple peered back. He cleared his throat and asked, "Do you have any honey lozenges? Sore throat." The commercial

It hurt. God, it hurt. I thought I'd never die after I saw that blade cut me down. But I did die. I saw myself lying there with those terrifying empty eyes. I died. But... what is

But Bill Clinton wasn't going to be shown up by some pencil-necked blue-blood yankee. He grabbed up as much as he could carry, all of it was soiling his

He posed as a depressed woman in her 20s.

"The worst part about getting old," she said, "is forgetting things. Who are you again?" She smiled passively. "I'm James, Gran. Your grandson." He was always so patient with her.

I nervously boarded the cargo elevator, my enigmatic guide sliding the door shut and flipping the switch. We began to descend deep into the earth. I was nervous, but I needed to kn

Inside the porcelain palace the toilet whisperer was able to coax a change in the

The creatures in the deep blue sea are fascinating! There we can find sharks, whales and many more sea animals.

In the corpse laden dawn mist, yesterday's battlefield becomes today's tragedy. The officers of the Royal Household Cavalry that were dressed in their fine uniform are now

So why am I sitting here trapped? What made me cross the line from being a Dad, an employee, a husband to a criminal who can never escape these prison walls? Fame - my 15 minutes

As The Grateful Dead and Phish and Deadmau5 all jammed out the audience couldn't stop taking the mega dose LSD/MDMA pills that where being handed out in giant tubs by a guy in a

I said Hai to the dog. Claire P xxx