My plan was simple. I had to switch bodies with a girl who ruined my life - but when I became close with her, things became difficult; she fell in love with me. What happened? Well

Hey, kids it's me, I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head! Ha-ha-ha!

I'm sorry my little file-o-fish.

No government should ever be in the business of killing its own citizens. This is doubly so when the government gets to set the rules about which people it is allowed to round up

She has 40-watt-a-pointing-you-know-what's. She has hung lips and thinks that cotton probably shouldn't be

I had a thing for fat Japanese girls. I also had a thing for antique pistols from the Civil War. I never thought that my two loves would coincide when I decided to

De sobte, vint segons n'hi ha prou, les cases vénen a runes, els vidres a mil trossos, les voreres netes de brutícia inversemblant. El de cel blau a marró; la veu a silenci.

Down every road there's always one more city I'm on the run the highway is my home I raised a lot of cane back in my younger days Read more: JACK GREENE - I'M A LONESOME FUGITIVE

I looked up to nothingness

We had been going to the backroom at Ned's Polonaise Room since the 70s. We set up out card tables and shook hands all around. Old Joe brought out the tiddly-winks and we commenced

After a long day at work, Mike

O smelly spaniel, how do you reek? Let me count the ways.

AGAIN! as if your LIFE depended on it! HEAD, shoulders, KNEES and TOES! KNEES and TOES! AGAIN!

The most beautiful thing in the universe: it called itself "THE ERASER". It was a living thing, but never should have lived. When lifeless, it can be controlled. The creature has

Retired Inspector Lewis met his young friend at the Potato Bug Museum off Trafalgar Square. "I don't mean this snarkily, James, but should we call you Reverend Hathaway now?" James

I crept into my bedroom & slowly eased my sock drawer open. There they all were, nestled together dreaming happy socky dreams. I knelt down, took out my melodica & tootled a

Mark's brother Charity the candle-maker was quite the babe-magnet, but not much came of it. Charity was gay but transcendent, and Mark loved women but was a homely slob. Even so,

A third culture kid

The Mormons had taken to a new mission after trotting the globe. Other species. Ted the Mormon had been assigned to be a missionary to all mollusks. This was not going to be

If I go to school today