One day in the Leap Year I was walking to the restroom at work. We'd been informed, that morning, planned dysfunction would have only one bathroom open in the building. The 9th.

I forgot the one about the jungle fever running rampant on the asteroids of Vesuvius 6. It was , maybe, about a flat footed buffoon with an orange face selling his hats to the dead

First it was wine and flowers. Then it was dinner and a movie. Then it was delivery pizza. Then it was warm-it-up-yourself leftovers. Now it's texts about poo. Color; girth; freque

The fire raged and the house began to collapse in upon itself, a dark shadow began to emerge within the flames at the front door. The figure of a man slowly started to make itself

She was four years old, enormously rich and had a genius for obscenity. This put her on a collision course with

The aged willow tree looked out at the pond she eternally stood besides, pondering the point of her existence. It was at this time she noticed the light in front of her glowing

What if people stopped taking shit from beatniks? "Hey, doll, what's yer name?" "I carry mace." "Swell, dig a groovy chick. What's this, a murder? Get right on that, officers."

Jeremy calculated that every possible person worth dating on the internet for a given individual lived precisely (2*age)/ (inverse square of mass - 100 kg) miles away, making the

As i stepped into the tour bus.There was all my family as we set off for my tour with a very cramped tour bus.we suddenly

when i was younger i used to shove sand up my nose and snails in my ears. what do you expect? i was raised by a family of

"What are you doing?" Jeanine asked Bob. "I'm howling silently like you told me to, of course!" Bob was growing puce & Jeanine worried that his already high triglycerides would clu

I'm getting ready to go back into the hospital for another surgery. So, if for any reason I don't make it out alive, I just want to say that I've left you all something in my will.

It was talked about for years, and it was finally done. The HR Red Flag statue. It stood on Nate's desk proudly & I think he enjoyed the attention. We knew better. We knew it

He built his house out of barbecued meats.

A field of lavender as far as the eye could see, and the mistral cast waves upon it, a tempest of purple. This, thought Amien is like me, and felt at peace unknown to her.

The toast popped up and he caught it in the air. He got out the jar of boogers and slathered them on the toast, smiling at the thought of

I don't give a flab about the flab-er-gab

We were at Champs de Mars. The Eiffel Tower spotlight swept across the night sky like a giant eye and stopped, fixing us with its bright beam. The arclike legs were walking towards

I opened the door to the room, walked in, and stared at them with wide eyes.

i have no idea what this is about, therefore ill just