Captain Carpathia was, to put it mildly, not one of the A-list superheroes. Sure, he had an origin story (something that involved a radioactive toilet plunger and a goat named

"Yes Tracy, smoking crystal meth is bad for your teeth. But it's ALSO a great way to increase your metabolism," said Officer Doug, our D.A.R.E. instructor. "Any more questions?"

He karate chopped his hands down on the butcher block. "I want this much, and not an inch more, and ready in half-an-hour." Then he turned on his two-tones and went out.

Dora the Explorer hated children. It was the network's big secret. She lived in a retirement community that disallowed kids. She herself was 98, but due to Gary Coleman disease

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spagghetti! He's nervous, but

Locked? Haunted houses weren't supposed to be locked. I banged on the door. "Hello in there! Any ghosts? Me and my girl are looking for a fright." No response. I roundhouse kicked

Era ya tarde cuando el clarinete comenzó a cabalgar la longitud de la onda. Fue abierta arbitrariamente en una frecuencia en la que como cualquier nolow sabe no debería estar.

Then she tasted Gengrich's hair. Vanilla Icing. His head really was a giant Cupcake.

Velvita, light of my life, fire of my loins

Hacía mucho tiempo que estaba así. Todos nos acostumbramos a la situación, por lo tanto no nos resultó nada extraño que haya sucedido de esa manera.

"I faked my own death. It just, well there was just way too much bullshit and I guess I'd rather be free and on my own than famous." I stared at Michael Jackson in disbelief

Fear of snakes, spiders, sharks, dinosaurs, cockroaches, birds, ants, rats, barracuda had all been exploited in the cinema, but my movie would exploit the little known fear of

M.C. Hammer decided it was his turn to make an energy drink. The only problem was that no one took his calls. He wanted to call his drink "5 Hour Hammer Time" or something

"Only $0.17 more and I'll have enough money for some ChocoFlan!" said asthmatic Ricky Two-Buns just seconds before a planet from the Bermuda 8 system collided into his bedroom.

It was a dark and stormy night in the small town of

And he wiped his mouth with a gold towel. He looked at Zeek sheepishly. "Like that?" Zeek patted his shoulder, "That's how you earn your red wings." After that time

The dragon eyed the damsel suspiciously. This did not look like any typical damsel in distress. In fact, with armor, sword, and shield, she looked very "un-distressed".

I awoke with a start when I heard the cocking of rifles down the hall. It was just as I had always feared: the poodle poachers had come for Fifi.

This prison was on the borders of four different dimensions. The great bronze walls around the metal chasm had huge pipes tangled all about them. In my tiny cube-cell, I waited.

His name was Phillip D'Abott,and he had already heard all possible jokes on it: