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His name was Phillip D'Abott,and he had already

  • His name was Phillip D'Abott,and he had already heard all possible jokes on it:

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  • "Hey look, it's 'Fill up da butt.' Tee hee." He went to the courthouse to get a name change. But disaster struck as Phillip stood in line between Ben Dover and

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  • Keith Myass. Phil made the unlucky choice to strike a conversation with the latter, who suffered severe mood swings. When Keith swung to punch him, Phil ducked, hitting Ben Dover

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  • right in the biscuits! Phil McCracken cackled wildy. Ben Dover called for his Russian friend Pikuv Andropov. But the officer Sue PaNazzi pulled up and

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  • put her bazooka to her shoulder. 'Well lady, that's a nifty little canon you got there', Phil told Sue. 'Don't you belittle me, gramps!' she shouted and aimed at his face. 'Now,

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  • Sue,” said Dr. Phil “I respect your right to own a bazooka, please respect my right to not have it pointed at my face, and to give you some folksy advice:don't swim in Lake Jackass

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  • ." Sue only paused to give the impression that she had given some present consideration to Dr. Phil's folksy words." She blasted him with her bazooka. "How's that workin' for ya,

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  • ?" she snickered. Shouldering her bazooka, Sue looked with contempt into Dr Phil's astonished face. "Thanks for the advice," she whispered, " but I get better from cereal boxes."

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  • "Aa-aa-aand, how...how's tha-aat wo-woorking fo-oor yo-oou?" Dr. Phil gulped, backing away from Sue's big bazooka. Dr. Phil's eyes darted around, searching for escape, but Sue let

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  • out just one salvo and took out the stage room for over half a dozen hyper-judgmental, ignorant, superstitious talk shows at once in a cataclysmic chain reaction of explosions.

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