"Bread pudding is exactly how I got in such amazing shape!" Arnold Schwarzenegger definitely never said.

The great cities have risen & fallen. Civilizations grip on mankind is weak & arthritic. Dark forces renew forgotten covenants. Primordial beasts reclaim the wilderness. Out of the

"Was the purpose of the folds on folding story to perpetuate a theme throughout the entire story?" he wondered.

Deep in the Inquisition Prison, party dynamics were breaking down. Mike the human Barbarian yelled at Steve the human Paladin "You're tough cuz your mom bought your armor for you!"

"RACISM! RACISM! RACISM!" He roared. Just in case we hadn't got the message he roared it a few more times before looking directly at me and adding "

after watching My Fair Lady instead of the super bowl, Chuck was sure that he'd proven his love and that Nancy would finally give into his craven desire to

my name is antwan i am the best i like footbal

When asking myself a question, instead of picking pedals off a flower, I take one of the pedals and tear it until it can't be torn anymore. Each time in half and by the end of it

I am so sorry. I ate all of your peeps.

"What evidence do you have that the Zombie Apocalypse hasn't already started."

There once lived a guy who lived a shoe. His shoe was way too big for him and it stunk really bad. Instead of putting foot powder in his shoe, he sprayed cologne everyday.

The Disco Ball was taken out of the sieve. They placed the sieve on David's head. David was strapped into the electric chair. He was given the switch so that he could self

Jerry was eating dinner when his wife, Brunhilda, asked why he was wearing a stupid hat. Why couldn't she leave the subject alone? Did he ask why she called her mother twice a day?

I'd invited the regulars, Bob who brews Nutbrowns, Sam, the Pilsnerking, & Sally, the Amber-lady. The burgers were on the grill when I popped the unmarked bottle of Obama Honey Ale

"Where's the remote?" she asked dully, right at the end of the 4th quarter. I glared at her, but extended my retractable arm to change the channel. I had to obey.

Chicken pen buyin' a Monkey's cousin eggs at your local market ya should always goose's Gregory Peck ter clock if any 're cracked. Wahn day I forgot ter goose's Gregory Peck me egg

Twenty minutes. That's how long I have left until I find out the truth. Am I really made up of mostly water like most humans are or am I really just a bag of cockatoos? Either way

Yup...it's that time of year again. The 30th Annual Lowcountry Oyster Festival is one of the world's largest foodie events. But there are some, uh, "implications" to eating oysters

Wandering the back streets of the information superhighway, Jackson realized that the internet was the real life incarnation of Stephen King's masterpiece, "The Tommyknockers"

Dr. Amnesiac was a master of identity theft, but Det.Manatee was sure he'd visited the Tattoo parlor. "Abalone, checked this ink for fluorescence. The map might be hidden under his