Doris looked dubiously over at Floyd, who was out on the dance floor. "And this...one," he panted, "is called...the flying kielbasa..." His noticeably sweaty armpits looked like

The grizzly bear smoked a calabash pipe because

DON'T PAY THE PIPER. It was the 23rd year after the 23rd month after the 23rd day after the 23rd hour that the infamous Pied Piper carried out his brutal murders with instruments.

"I see your point and raise you a counterpoint: you are a massive doo-doo head." Debate Club had gone to the dogs. I quietly padded my résumé in the corner, sipping a soda.

Stepping into his apartment, Steve noticed for the first time that there was a grey squirrel sitting on his sofa, right where he swore the night before he had left his prized

For Godsake, keep your eyes open.

"Turn the music up," he shouted. She could hear his voice through the thin walls of the apartment complex. Who was he shouting to? The music suddenly got ....

Allie carried in the last of her stuff. Phew! First year of college DONE! Made it on the Dean's List too. But should tell her parents what she really learned at college this year?

I had my finger on The Button. All I could think of was my mother saying "Oh relax, it's not the end of the world." But this time, with the wrong choice, it would be. I pressed

Hey there Dapper Dan! You like a smooth operator who can rub two coins together. I get a little dealeo for you. (You know what I'm sayin'?) Its easy-peasy lemon-squeezy. Hey!

The apocalypse of 2012 had gotten off to a slow start, but once it was underway it was a great time from beginning to end. This was definitely the apocalypse with the most alcohol.

The beach was crowded with Australians having their Xmas BBQ when Santa jumped out of the hovering helicopter with his bag of gifts, red shorts, sunglasses and towel to join in

today is a beautiful day!!!

Ernestine chewed at her bottom lip as she pushed the crackling bacon through the greasy froth of fat with the end of her wooden spoon. In her other hand she held

You and me are in a lot of trouble, and somebody's gonna burst our bubble. Your husband, my wife. My marriage, your life. So we went to Maine out on the east coast that very night

Melodramatic Martha, my dear, tonight is your night. I've been grinding away, thinking about your small flower print dress and buttermilk biscuit ankles, tonight I will hang

Many hikers admire the beauty of the Lake Superior hiking trails, but few have the courage to trek the brambles of the Lake Inferior hiking trails.

I have a fetish about toes. I have ever since I was born.

I am a prodigy. That's what they call me now. I am no longer Samantha Alberts. I have changed, crowned with power. I am

Wanna hear the most annoying thing in the world?