I went walking with my mama one day when she told me what people say. Live your life untill love is found, cause love's gonna

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Johnny. He was a prodigy, but his talent was unusual. Johnny could identify any item you placed in front of his face by its smell.

We've got miles to go before we sleep. "Miles to go before we sleep?" she asked frostily. "I thought I saw two roads up there, though. See the yellow woods?" I know these woods

"Yeah, there are listening devices in those little white beeper things." Said Ted. "You mean they're listening in on us?" The Barrista's felt naked

Sarah fidgeted by herself. He was late, but that gave her time to think. Past experiences had taught her that it was best to reveal these things on the 3rd date.

"We're making nuclear weapons out of hemp?" The Ayatolla scanned the lab. Which one of his scientists were responsible for this? Was it Nazir? No he hated hemp products, what

Me, Tomba & Kimba had staked out a baby buffalo at a water hole & managed to cut it off from the herd. Then Sipak the Croc grabbed its tail & nearly dragged it into the water, but

Phazon from the Mad Sea Cows of Untranquility savored the echoes of his chuckles. "Murder in the Martian Catacombs ... " He nearly shrieked again. Upon the obsidian tiles lay

"Welcome to Cannibal Cafe. Our special tonight is a Limb Burger topped with Limburger and toematoes." Andrew Zimmern studied the menu with trepidation. "I think I'll have the

When the Highland Games were over and the scorched earth of Toronto settled, the PM crawled out form his hidey-hole and yelled

"Are you Coherent?" Jethro asked with a wink, lifting his phone. Mindy answered vaguely, "Of course." Jethro gleamed but The Sisterhood was not sure what to do about the Coherent

Time was passing slowly - very slowly indeed

The button felt fabric across his face as Jen's fingers pulled him through the hole. He felt himself falling to the floor as she tossed her blouse in a heap. The button thought

Environmental concerned Hindus decided rather than worshipping the smelly cow they would worship the kangaroo. The kangaroo ate grass all day but does not fart. Greenhouse gases

What

Bob and Betty were married. David and Chanel were married. Bob loved Betty and Betty loved Bob. David loved Chanel but Chanel loved David AND Bob. One night at a dinner party

My bloody head dangled upside down mere inches from the boiling cauldron as I fought against my bindings. "I'll ask you ONE MORE TIME!" screeched Hagatha. "WHAT OF THE TOAD?!!!!"

Your grandfather was injured in a freak elk hunting accident while reading 'literature' in the outhouse. Uncle Russes shot ricocheted off the elks antlers through the moon cutout

I looked him straight in the eye. "Wally, it didn't have to be like this." I pulled out his mancard. "Mmmhmm. It shows right here that on May 22, 2004 you put cream in your coffee.

Though short sighted Ornithorhynchusologist, Bill D. Mamon, sensed a rat & ducked into the nearest library cubicle changing into the web-footed costume of Capt. Platypus!