I'd worked my way from snails up to frogs legs. My friend Gaston smiled winningly."It tastes best raw. Cooking ze Foie Gras eez tragique". I swallowed. Next stop the parasitologist

"Look, I already told you, I'M NOT PUTTING IT BACK ON!" I shouted at Colonel Stafford. She looked appalled. "I never wanted to be a part of all this! YOU forced me into it!"

Her eyes lit up as she unwrapped the cologne. "Oh, Roger!" But a few spritzes left her speechless. It smelled like kerosene with a top note of flea spray. She tried to maintain

I did 2 push ups, she wasn't impressed. So i beat her in a video game. She still wasn't impressed. So then I got online and ordered her roses, but she yawned. So I gave her an

My brother is a wizard. He only knows two spells, but they are very useful. The first spell allows him to be invisible and the second spell

The green people were notorious for stealing tea from the aquamarine people. the aquamarine people considered themselves vastly superior to the orange people. The orange people

The IKEA was the final battle ground of the Second American Civil War. The Liberal Collective stock piled their supplies there. The Conservative Reformationists planned to capture

Her toes hurt like hell...She needed new point shoes.That was that,she would not go on stage unless they gave her new blocks.She wiped out the blood and

I should have filled my summer house with crack cocaine and pimp tattoo sex freaks. I called my real estate agent and proposed

He said "It seems impossible that after only three days I have fallen for you and can't imagine my life without you" She said,

At last I am truly satisfied. I have achieved cheesefulness. I am one with the cheese. I live cheese. I am cheese. These were the famous words spoken by the great

The bunch of bananas winced collectively after being dropped unceremoniously in the middle of the pineapple bin. It wasn't easy being green.

AnneMarie,dancer at L'OperaBallet,Paris where students are called"little mice",had a rat phobia.Almost impossible to her to say yes to the part on TheNutcracker."Mice King my ass!"

The dark blue curtains parted and a voice off stage said "In the beginning was the word..." "I knew it!" yelled a humanities major in the audience. An irate science major threw

Gene Rayburn read the card with his perfect diction, "The church organist was in need of a tune up when she reached out for the keyboard and found it was a BLANK"

The nematodes had taken infiltrated his brain. Slipping past each other like passengers in a bus station. But they were sonic worms. Able to

Entry #47 ... I recovered the last tape from under the burned-out cabin. It was sealed in a zip-lock bag with "Operator" written in a sharpie on a post-it. I hope I can solve this.

Let tell you a story that was told long ago by the settlers of this fair plain. Those hard tack pioneers who tamed the West and built the first strip mall. Cinnabuns as far as the

Roger wanted to remain truly anonymous but his conscience pressed him so he spraypainted his confession on the church wall.As he finished he heard Father Tom's voice behind him say

"1,2,3,F@#$. 5,6,7,F@#$. 9,10,11,F@#$..."This new game her psychiatrist taught her was really working on controlling her temper thou she knew she wasn't suposed to use the F@#$ on