"Perhaps" the professor droned on, "on another Earth the War of Northern Aggression might have been lost by the Glorious South - but of course that is nothing but pure poppycock."

So they ran Hamlet again at the school. Joey hated Hamlet. What a little weird turd Hamlet was. The English teacher said this was literature, but Joey knew it wasn't. When

I my garage, I created a 1:6 scale model of my cubicle. Everything works. From the telephone to the copy machine. My action figure was He-Man with dockers. The other drones were

The class sat frozen. No one in the writing workshop wanted to give notes. The fact that John LeCarre was a student had freaked the budding writer's out. But Ted was an idiot and

People flocked from as far as Caledonia County every year to see the returning of the nuns to convent. Excitement would swell as someone would spot the first one, winging her way

They holed up in the shack as best they could, and listened fearfully for the sound of claws on the door & roof. Father Mike blessed their sole weapon, a t-shirt gun - the damned

"Oh of course it's 'C', the obviously wrong choice," I thought as I filled in the oval. I'd installed a sarcasm detector on my school's Scantron the day before. My high test scores

Homeschooling your children is an act of aggression against the state. Growing your own food is a display of defiance against your rulers. Arming and protecting your own home is a

The guy rapped on the Gates and Saint Peter answered. "Can I get in?" "Not until you atone for the murder of 56,176 living creatures." "I never killed anyone!" "Remember Halo?"

The chunk of antimatter floated in its magnetic containment unit, hovering ominously in as near a vacuum as I could get. Still, stray gamma rays from the occasional annihilation

Why didn't you tell me before I started that FoldingStory would be this addictive! Three nights in a row up past 1. Ugh, and my week was hard enough as it is.

Fred Flinstone went to lay his hands on Wilma once again. Finally, Barney stepped in and said,

The once was a happily married couple known as Bob and Bobette and they lived with their dog sheba. One day, Sheba was bitten by a squirrel and turned RABBID

Banjo Jo sat in his Ford holding the love of his life, Acetylene Candy. He'd won her in a Pick-Off the year before in Soddy Daisy, TN. Since then their riffs together grew sweeter

Number 24. House is to clown as giant sea monster is to

En un lugar del sol, de cuyo nombre me acuerdo, bella región...

She planted the seed that had come from the dusty packet in the back of the greenhouse. For weeks, nothing, then, one day, a sprout appeared, ghastly green, glowing with an unholy

This was not what Rome. This was not Greece. This was not even Imperial China! This was not even possibly the outer reaches of the Khan's Mongol Empire!! .... This was the realm of

Then Cobra Commander slammed his fist on the desk, rattling the computer bank. "If I see one more person write "Yay." on Facebook, I will melt the world's children!" He'd

I had lips like Jagger, but I didn't have