I met a talking cookie named Steve and together we explored the pepperoni market in North Korea, together we rode a dinosaur named Ed, to find the perfect pepperoni.

I wanted a pudding pop but, every time I went to get one, the ghostly visage of Bill Cosby rose up before me. The same thing happened with Toaster Strudel - all I could think of

Yesterday, the Weights and Measures Board has discovered that a soul's mass dropped significantly since a decade ago. Are we less burdened? Where did it go?

Once upon a time there was a cute little girl called Lucy, and everyone thought she looked just like a fairy because of her delicate features and her friendly smile.

'Near mercy' (in much the same way that 'near miss' signifies a miss) = 'Mercenary'. Coincidence? Perhaps. But to yeasayers, I tell the story of Barry the Mercenary Canary. He flew

It was my first session, she looked at me all concerned. "and How are you feeling?" I looked at her and cracked a big smile, "Horny."

I am not exactly famous for my insight but I am not unaware that my body and I are not the best of friends. Just now though I found myself and my body on the same page as I experie

"I wanna dance!" she announced to the room. Everyone in the asylum turned sharply toward Anna, the head nurse. "I wanna DANCE!" she exclaimed with a kick and a twist.

As the water from the rain poured into the sewer, a man climbed down a manhole completely smashed from tequila and vodka. Due to his drunken state, he did not realize that he was

I braced myself to leave the house, hoping I would not encounter my busybody neighbor. We had exchanged a few hellos in passing, but she seemed to take that as an invitation to

I've searched the Internet, but nowhere can I find advice on how to approach a spouse to tell 'em you think their rewatching of Hellraiser movies nightly before bedtime is creepy.

I'm sorry I am late for practice coach, I was hungry and just ran over to the stand for a waffle. I don't think 25 push-ups in the slush will make me a better ski racer. Maybe we

They say I couldn't live in the past--but now I rent a time-share in the 80's.

That old bag is made of cells. Cells are bags of liquid and proteinaceous glob. They contain organelles. Organelles are just smaller bags with more liquid and glob.

"If memory serves, Martin we switched to spinach loaf the year mammy found out turkeys are bisexual". There was an awkward pause during which I could hear Uncle Russels borborygmus

The alcoholic, chain-smoking,

Bow before Mr. Tomato, for He has arrived. "Yoohoo, my first story! ............ hmmm,: cough cough: now what?"

Just as they were eating the herb & wine chicken casserole, the dog wandered in from the kitchen and was extravagantly sick on the rug.

The walls vibrated with the immense power of guitars strumming intensely in almost perfect unison. When the guitarist strung a chord, I yelled with every ounce of breath i had.

I wanna' be the very best like no one ever was. To catch them was my real test, to train them is my cause! I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. Each pokemon to