I ate my 7th twinkle. "There's an apple on the counter if you want it." my roommate said. Nuuoooo. I then began to turn on the tv and I hear my favorite song ♫

Seti alpha 5, where the finest faux Corinthian leather is obtained for the sleeper vessel berths of the authentic reproduction of the DY100 which transported Khan Noonian Singh

Once there was a boy who had really spiky hair. This wasn't any regular type of spiky hair. He didn't use any gel. They were actually porcupine spikes, but he wasn't born that way.

It's amazing the things you do when you're young. I found my old diary. When I was 8 years old my goal in life was to be a vet for unicorns and narwhals, and to marry Fred from

To her credit, the wind was swinging the rope every direction but the one she wanted to go. Following it was never something she would have even considered.

Joe's bud opens the door for him as Joe stated in shock "man, I slept on the bus and when I woke up there was this big whole, made with scissors on my jeans. Who made it? Why? How?

Donny D'Angelo was so narcissistic he'd go into a hair salon and pay to sit and look at himself in the mirror for 30 minuntes and then say, "Qui bono, Don't change a thing."

Havran and the Jumping Spiders had attracted seven people to the club in Athens, GA. Havran was dispirited, but the drummer said "Great Magic can be done with small numbers" and so

-LUNKER! SPE-LUNKER! The reclusive, hermit mole man! Spe-lunker! Spe-lunker! A friend to all the kids!

Is it iconic or ironic when an poppa orc's roc pops corks in a stock IROC pumping shock rock?

As a pastor of the Utilitarian Church of Objective Philosophy I've married people with cars, roller coasters, ferris wheels, video game characters & garden fences, but now I'll

I'm not sure anyone was really surprised the day I screamed some pretty colorful new curse words at my boss, quit my job, and ran off to join the circus.

I found a grumpy Dutchman in my kitchen this morning demanding breakfast. "I haven't got cornflakes," I apologised, "only cocoa pops." He slammed his spoon down, a guttural stream

Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. went the big ghastly

I drew the robe tightly about me and settled down for a nice long nap. But the robe was not a robe. It was a piece of military technology designed to kill me. Awwwkwwarrdd....

she straddled me up and rode me till the cows came home

My history internal assessment was due three hours ago. I was going to fail the IB. It was all her fault. When I first saw her I knew

How many times does it take for you to understand?

A hard-boiled egg was set before him. The shell was fragmented. Gently he began to peel it, one shard at a time.

Out of ideas, the band built robots to play random songs. "We'll steal whatever ROCKS," they said. The next day, the robots stole their guyliner, drums, and van, going on tour in