Vanessa Conquest spat discreetly into her napkin. "Of course I am a carnivore, but not evolved or devolved enough for this, Solange. Maybe a spiritual centrist. Human fetal sushi

So the old lady opened the bank's letter. "We regret to inform you Ma'am but we are foreclosing on your shoe." She didn't need this. She had so many children, and now this?

I WAS IN CLASS AND I SUDDENLY HAD TO TAKE A

A bad cut didn't exactly frustrate Guy Henry. Incompetence just kindled laughter. Many nights of postproduction quickened Ray Sims torturous undoing. Velma wasted x-rated Yak Zebra

So there he was, on the bridge of the ship, a bloodied axe in one hand and the beheaded body of the Xonian captain in the other. Justin could hardly believe what he had done.

I entered my apartment and smelled sulfur. Satan had been here, and I was willing to bet he was taking Cheryl out right now. I knew I never should have trusted Satan around my girl

To get to the root of the problem I was going have to remove each of my fingers. I had stolen a cleaver from the local butcher and my plan was to start with my left pinky. It was

"Your Honor, My client is innocent of the charges filed. He was in a car accident and lost his left arm. The arm donor was a notorious shoplifter so you see he couldn't help it."

they consisted of poles planted in the ground with wires strung along the tops to set off grenades and mines if the

The technique was invented by Surrealists and is similar to an old parlour game called Consequences in which players write in turn on a sheet of paper, fold it to conceal part of t

'Invalid response' my ass! It's my phone, and I'll answer it any way I like, or not at all if I so choose. I'm sick & tired of these nuisance calls from scammers trying to get your

My assistant was desperately trying to catergorize the fauna. Phosphorescent mushrooms led us deeper into the murky cave. The natural limestone gave way to basalt brickwork.

It was the best of times, but actually it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom, but really everyone was just an idiot.

His fist crashes into my nose, causing a loud crack and sending blood everywhere. He smirks and says, "You really suck at this." I smile and say, "Screw you too."

Mrs. Owens had an amazing pair of knockers. They were enormous heavy things festooned with ornate decorations & hung heavily from front and back doors of her mansion. I lifted the

"I bet I can shed faster than you," said the snake. "Not so!" said the blue crab. As they speed-molted, Aesop rolled his eyes. Animals would try anything to star in his next Fable.

John picked up his things quickly stirring his things. Looked to his clock and cursed. It was too late... too late... It was coming shortly, and John must out of there. Then

My first crimes twenty-one years ago were the beginning of my quest for elegance in larceny, but I didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t really hate old Mrs. O’Malley as much as I

i was in health class when all of a sudden some kid blurts out welcome to

While on a trip, I go hiking in some really strange woods. I have heard stories from some of the local neighbor's stories saying that there is something in the woods. So I looked