YOU, SHALL NOT PASS!! cried Gandalf, as the postman entered through his front gate. "Hi there Gandy, you got a parcel from a Mr.... Treebeard?" Gandalf swung his staff and the

She was attractive enough, even with the crooked nose and the thin scar that created a bare line through her eyebrow, but she was the kind of woman who didn’t wear make-up and

"husa husa husa com belli ona susa. husi ho husi ho husi ho ho ho"

The Tuesday that the Anything boxes arrived for everyone was the day that civilization, as we know it, ended. By Thursday,

"Yeah, that's my art on the wall." She said, smiling at the man in the suit. The suited man smiled and said, "This entire coffee shop is my art." Howard Schultz then smugly

The day was warm. I'd never felt the sun before, and the warmth coming from it was greater than that of any fire.

Two Helmets marched into the room. They meant business because they had rakers. He could see their ComLights twinkling. The Borg turned him over to them.

He let the meter expire. The meter maid came, and as she wrote a ticket he through the skill saw blade and hit her in the neck. A man walking a dog saw the whole thing and

So I said to Larry "Look, if I can hit this wiffle ball over the Great Wall of China you have to eat the entire jumbo size pack of Swedish fish." Larry nodded and tossed

The tiger loped through the high jungle, only a smattering of sunlight reaching through the thick canopy to land on his striped (pronounced stripe-ed) hide. She stopped when she

I woke up in the morning and I walked out the house I was at my bus stop when I realized

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii don wanna work, I jus wanna bang on this drum all daaayyyyy

What ... the ... f*ck?!

He turned her hand over and found the money she had been sure was in her pocket. How could he have lifted it and put it there without her noticing. As she was piecing it together

This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drown her boyfriends fish. She looked so sad and needed some cheering up and.....

"Bad proofreader, bad BAD proofreader!" Zelda glared. "All you've done is introduce fresh errors to the typesetters' pristine proofs! Have you been smoking in your office again?"

Shadows billowed across the patterned floor, concealing the dark figure who stood at the end of the hallway. Fear paralyzed me as I realized the sight of this figure had literally

Rockets escape earth in the style of fleeing sperm puncturing outwards. We have never excelled with uterine-shaped projectiles; nevertheless, pilots all prize their parachutes.

His prom really was a surprise. When he got out of the limo he was on Mars. How did Mr. Daniels pull this off? Of course, he still didn't have a date, but the night was young.

Once upon a time there was a fairy princess who lived in the magical lolly pop forest with her mother, father and little fairy brother...