It was a drive-by shooting, only it was film instead of bullets.

The Insect Lord sent the infestation of cockroaches careening into the next house. The night preened in swamp gas, the hypopnea of slumped trees a gentle rustling in the moonlight.

Hello welcome to Wargames Tundra! Can I interest you in some 20-sided polyhedrals? A new line of Warhammer 3000 Space Marines arrived this morning! Wait! Magic Cards?

It eludes definition just as it eludes itself;

I got to go paylaking this weekend

The bastards from the South had come and gone. All we had to show for it was a funeral pyre adrift on an splenetic sea. We watched our matriarch of Horn and Ice sink, extinguished.

Sure he was a Zombie, but paragliding was so much fun. He launched himself off a cliff in Big Sur (left his foot on the ground) and soared through the air.

Tutti fruity aw rudy, tutti fruity aw rudy, tutti fruity aw rudy, A wop bop a-loo-bob-a-wob-bam-boo.

I smelled him burning before I heard him pounding on the oven door. Whoops! Forgot to set the timer! Smoke filled the room as I rushed to the stove. Oven mitts, oven mitts, where

I am Groot.

Growing up, I was told we weren't allowed to swim in the ocean. I always believed that was because we could get hurt and my parents were trying to protect us. Little did I know...

"Say, what would you get if you crossed a hen with a duck?" Emily asked Brian in science class one rainy afternoon.

Twas the Bill before Christmas & all thu the House, the lawyers were grumbling & beginning to grouse. "T'will take a fortnight to see this thing done, I'm tired but let's have some

This was supposed to be that list that I promised in that other missive. I say "was supposed to be that list" because it started with the intention of giving you the list but as yo

I am a variant man. I am a variegated man. I'm a vagrant man. I'm a homely man. I'm a cocooning man. I'm a distracted man. I'm a distributed man. I'm a

"Howard, I'm telling you. The man's a genius. The contraption he mounts on his cattle collect the methane emisions, he gets to book a carbon windfall & then he sells it to the

They called him Farty Marty,, but Martin couldn't help if his mother believed legumes were potent brain food but Gasex was a no go cause sniffing farts increased his test scores.

SELECT * FROM People P LEFT OUTER JOIN Relations R on R.with = P.id WHERE P.iq > 140 AND P.sex = 'F' AND R.with IS NULL;

Aquaman - King of Atlantis, Summoner of the Seven Seas - rose from the depths with the broken and bloody corpse of Eric Merman in his arms. "Look me in the eye, Batman, and tell me

Mary was drinking a soda when two Federal Agents arrested her in public! "Mary Anne Jones" said the blonde one "You're under arrest for the manufacturing and selling of