An ice cream soda was all he wanted.He had this craving for a few days now and it was driving him nuts...Hummm,nuts...caramelized,warm nuts...No!No more cravings,no more sugar,no

"Ichthyomancy and idioglossia are ignotum per ignotius" Uncle Ichabod used to say, but he suffered from latent Luciferous Logolepsy. Aunt Ida suffered from Involuntary Idiolalia.

10 out of 10 brands of toilet paper,

"The 31st weekly meeting of Goat club is now called to order.The secretary will now read the bylaws", said Great Goat John. "Rule #1 Never talk about Goat club. Rule #2 No Helgas"

I was driving along the A82 in the gloaming when I heard clashing chords. From the depths of Loch Ness rose a sparkly beast playing a star-shaped guitar: the Glam Rockness Monster!

follow if u cry everytim x

"This is what it has come to," said Morton. "I know," said Mildred. Morton paged through the pamphlet about how to manifest reality, thinking "We already have one." The envelope

"Daddy, tell the story about the transgendered Gingerbread Boy again." "Honey, it's past your bedtime." "Please, Daddy?" "Oh alright. Once upon time there was a little gingerbread

They stood around awkwardly as thoughts flashed through her mind. *Don't react. It's okay. Just act natural.* She'd dealt with smaller varieties before, but a true micro?

I had nothing left to live for. But I wasnt going to kill myself. Mainly because I hated the thought that I might get stuck in some sort of purgatory or limbo for eternity. Instead

Millie landed the plane on a narrow strip of beach on the uninhabited island but the beach ran out and it coasted into the lagoon losing a wing on the rocks. We tried to pick up

"Great blood and fire. It's hotter here than Vulcan's dick." Said the

This is the story of how Squawkers got his little head stuck in a magoty Nutella jar. It all started when 2 drunk hooligans tormented spambaby in a wheelbarrow. Marvin the flamingo

I was trapped, alone on an iceberg, penguins and that squamous, tentacled THING slowly melting out of the ice as my only companionship. The penguins had wised up to my predations,

Adam stared at himself in the mirror. He looked at the scar on his chest. He remembered that he got it from

It was brilliant, yes, but so simple too. So obvious. This brilliant, simple, obvious concept had changed everything overnight. The idea was

It was with a heavy heart that the Lady Amadaela wished the man farewell, and turned to her new child, the only creature with the potential to end the Entropy. This child...

She was tan. She was tall. She was gorgeous. I had to talk to her. "Excuse me, miss?" "Yeah?" A not so lady-like voice answered. Wait...he? I stared at her. She, or he, laughed.

There Will Come A Time, When You Will Mark This Day, As The BEGINNING. A New Path, A New Way, A New Meaning, Is Here. But You Don't Believe Me, Yet.

Adrian could see that what he proposed was unpopular, but he persisted regardless. "What do you MEAN, my plan to secure world peace by destroying a major city is implausible?"