It seems like pain and regret are your best friends.

"How many bullets does it take to kill this machine?" Doug said as he finished the clip into my Honda Accord. "It looks so much more easier in the movies" Doug said as he reloaded

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" he said into the microphone at the drive-thru. With a perfect Parisian accent, one of the requirements for the job. The box squawked in response

Azalea, Betty, Carmina, Dolly, Eva, Floella, Geraldine, Hattie, Iris, Javeria, Krystal, Lois, Mandy, Naimh, Olive, Prithika, Qitara, Rose, Serene, Tallulah, Uma, Veronica, Wendy, X

My sandwich was here just a moment ago and now...it's gone. Did you eat it? 'Cause if you did, that's OK. I just want you to tell me the truth. Our relationship is based on honesty

It was just as the parrot had foretold. On the hour the cuckolded rooster crowed, the sky began to darken. The great ravens wing covered the sun. The barren hen laid a golden egg

I want to tell you everything so that the only thing that remains between us are secrets.

I was driving down the road when I saw something cross the road just a little bit in front of me. At first I thought it was just a squirrel, but when I got up there

~Finish the song ~ ♫ Down by the riva! 45 years ago. Was a terrible murder. Of a little girl. Her captures had no sympathy. As they bond her to a stump. She yelled and wailed and

Pungent cologne intoxicating my lungs, I couldn't breathe. He was

Let's get it ON! Bang a GONG! Like Donkey KONG! (Get down. Shuffle back 2,3,4 Forward 2,3,4) Aaaanddd. Shimmy-shimmy-shake. Mash Potato. Jazz Hands. Tap Dance Finish TA-DAH!

I held fast to my baby blanket as I tried to sleep. I knew the dreams would come and I'd be swept away into the power of them. I cannot resist the enticement they bring.

He came over, gave her a full body massage and stretch, then brought her to full release. He brought her a sandwich and beer, took a shower, and left. She drank the beer, but took

Cold and wet, his eyes blink against the frigid wall of rain, beating down on his small, tired frame.

They lay in bed. He said 'I'm going to make you the happiest person in the world!' 'Oh,' she said 'I'll miss you. When are you planning to leave?'

Jacqui's burns were healing nicely now - she'd never use meths on Christmas pudding again! She put on a pair of new Christmas knickers & wondered why they had a bow at the front

You can't win 'em all in this game. There's always going to be the ones that got away, went wrong or turned psychotic. I've learnt these lessons the hard way by 15 years hard graft

Hey diddle diddle. He's cracked in the middle.Tong Gao is stumped ornery and blue.

Today was an odd series of events, 99% of the world's inhabitants had been turned into zombies.And the1% of survivors were trapped on a floating isle.

One day I met a chicken on the road.