Chloe couldn't wait to start school! She had a new dress and new shoes. She even got a brand new lunchbox with a ballerina on it. She couldn't wait to meet all the new kids.

The Count languished in anguish. Without a tongue, life had no savor. He should have known that his latest dinner guests were from Argentina, and the silver content of their blood

The ragged black slippers quietly disintegrated at his feet; chewed up reminders of a dog who fetched them. She had been, of course, eaten long ago. Times were tough and meat

When he said on their first date that he'd possess her heart she thought it was kinda cute in an overconfident kind of way. Now that he was standing over her with a meat cleaver

Little Old Lady,or Lolly was a black and white pussy....Cat! Pussy cat... She belonged to Sally,an 81er who just thought she owned the house.The real owner was of course,Lolly.

That one debbie downer of the group.. wow never thought I could be sooo

While shopping at the market of ideas, I passed a fear monger barking his wares. "W wants your jobs, If you elect X he will take all your Y. World will end if you don't do Z"

This morning when I dropped a deuce in the bowl I could smell our sex from last night. The yeasty moistness that your snapper gummed on my bumpy pole really made me

Nola charged 2 bits per kiss, with all the money going to Charity. Charity was her pimp. The two had met in Bible College, and it wasn't long before Nola was leaning against a pew,

Super pumped up today for Blue Ivy's 2nd birthday party. I wasn't officially invited, but that has never stopped me before from crashing a party. Just last week I crashed

So quiet... too quiet. Where were all the birds? Had they fled, or had they fallen from the sky? The only thing I could hear was an odd rushing sound in the distance. Suddenly I

The bruise was big, vivid and colorful - like an oil spll in a puddle. "What is this?" "What does it look like?" Fine... "Who was it?" "Any lucky guess?"

Dear User: We have completed an unauthorized computer scan of your hard drive(s) and past year's browser history. In addition to the usual pornography, online shopping, and gaming

I don't know how to feel

Zimbabwes yoddeling xylophone wacking virtuouso Urs Tikumu showed really quirky performances. New music links kept Jethro inspired. His global folklore events defied common beliefs

I continued to drink the poison betting on the sageseed to protect me. A couple rumbles that might have been ordinary later & we were sneaking around in her backyard with a shovel.

"Cabbages for Babbages, eh?" Charles was delighted and patted his stricken friend on the shoulder. Tesla muttered, "Sanskrit, gematria? This cannot be!" His eyes emitted excess qi

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell. I didn't know this one I turned the key. I was just curious what I would find when I

I thought I had been invited to go rollerblading with a friend, but misunderstood. What he really said was, "ROLLERBALDING!" I tried to stop but it was too late. I had the skates

My career really began back when I was in Space Cadets. Sure, most of the hard work came later - it involved washing the hulls of space freighters and checking fuel lines.