Smokey the Bear had angered his poker opponent because Smokey was cheating. Seymour, the mob boss, chased Smokey to Taco Bell, where he was the "trying to prevent wildires."

This Christmas, I asked myself a very important question: "Has anything about me changed? Why do I still hate the world? And where's the turkey?" But this time, it'll be different.

There had been no winners of 'Most Dosteoevsky-like Folder' since 2014. This was because all Dosteoevsky-like folders had disappeared in mysterious circumstances. Lucielucie denied

Theodore was not your average fellow. his expression was stern at all times, in a fashion that some referred to as "resting-asshole face." He could only trudge through life with a

Immunity in those days was just a vague idea. No one was sure what it meant exactly. Would it make you immortal? Could everyone attain Immunity? Sally pondered over this as she st

Good News! The female snail penis count is going down!

Mary never liked me. She always thought me off-putting. I never quite understood. While I admit I

The thick sent of sweat filled the Oval Office. President Trump slid his Cuban cigar into the tight hole of his ornate eagle cigar cutter.

"Is there a problem, officer?" Oh, I knew there was a problem - a hooker's arm wasn't jammed into my tailpipe by accident. But I needed to stall him just long enough to charge my

Carmela was about to burst into tears as she stared at her computer and shouted, "It's gone, it is all GONE!" She couldn't even imagine what she would do without

Fue un lunes normal de invierno, casi nadie queria levantarse de la cama.

Dr Goodfeel Drinkingstein bobbed violently on my tweed waterbed clutching his balloon of cognac. We were playing at canoeing around the bend in the Danube just north of Budapest

Ah, but you see you clicked on the 'Terms of Service.' This gives us every right to do the following. Now, hold still....

I like hearing her sandals shuffle gracefully along the sandy cattail-riddled path to the shoreline, and the sparkle in her eye when she first sees the surf rolling toward her.

My stomach keeps grumbling. I think it's trying to communicate with me.

The rain started to bang against the aluminum chimney vent - clank, clank, clank. He looked up and wondered

Mr Wong hadn't spent four months floating from Vietnam to America in a cracked pot for nothing. That much was clear. Today he was finally going to

Today.. "do you know what day today is?" I kept replaying the strange phone call I received in the morning. I told the caller "Of course, i know, I'm not stupid" but the truth is

Ned fingered the natural rubber teething ring in his hand, quickly formulating a plan as the Starfish-McMahan monster slithered slowly up the tunnel. Biting hard on the teething

I was at a fork in the road. I had to decide whether I wanted to pursue a career in poetry or professional wrestling. On the one hand, professional wrestling would allow me to