I palpitated it with my fingers. "What is this?" I asked. The more I examined the piece, the firmer it got. I was unsure if the subject was uncomfortable or

That's when Bernie did something that shocked me. He looked up, and pointed at my face and said, "Smell my finger."

I'm a dolphin trainer at Sea World. It sucks. I hate dolphins, and orcas too. Stupid animals. They're always trying to kill you or hump you. That's what the crowd doesn't see.

The corupt old tyrant's head rolled into the town square, the rabble of famished country squires just behind it. Only his right hand man Hvick stood between them & the town well

I did 2 push ups, she wasn't impressed. So i beat her in a video game. She still wasn't impressed. So then I got online and ordered her roses, but she yawned. So I gave her an

“I need an essence capsule! Throw one here!” the woman shouted to her ally. Quickly fumbling around in her coat pocket, the other woman

Mental Syrup? Not in my Tardis!

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Johnny. He was a prodigy, but his talent was unusual. Johnny could identify any item you placed in front of his face by its smell.

I could block him cuz he spammed me. But I had a second thought about how I could handle him.

I swam through murky water with trout darting past & surfaced when I became entangled in some plants. Stan smiled broadly. "Great huh? I call it HYDRAPO for Hydroponic Aquaculture

Hello, I heard you like folding stories, so I put a

We've got miles to go before we sleep. "Miles to go before we sleep?" she asked frostily. "I thought I saw two roads up there, though. See the yellow woods?" I know these woods

"When I asked you to kiss behind the ears, this is not what I meant!" Julie shrieked as she batted down the corn husk and stomped away. Women! You can't live with 'em, you can't

The central figure [X] reveals a male of refined and handsome features such as a formed and well groomed part of straight hair. A slight blemish or dimple above the left

The first flurry of the year floated over the field when I left the stable. Somewhere in the dancing swarm of crystals above was one whose pattern would unlock the snow angels

In retrospect, perhaps Freddie Mercury should have worn braces.

So the Thing was sorely disappointed when it realized that this planet had actually already been taken over by the Pod People. What use was hiding as a duplicate of someone else

"And so, Miss Wheedle" read the email, "I couldn't complete my project because I haven't had access to a computer for over a month now, and a dog ate my printer." She clicked

Ralph was going through menopause. His doctor confirmed it and Ralph was terribly dismayed. "Now turn your head and cough," his doctor ordered, twisting Ralph's

A young girl came speeding down the street. She waved her hands at me and started yelling.