To hear this menu in Zombish, text or say "brains". We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls. Please listen carefully, as many of the options have changed. If you have

I filled up my little alien-cave man baby this afternoon, with the usual

I swear to God, that Tickle-Me Elmo was staring into my soul. He looked at me with his fake, plastic eyes and his mouth open wide. "I'm not ticklish," He kept saying.

So the Wal-Mart truck eased off onto a frontage road in the pre-dawn light. The driver parked. Opened the trailer. Unloaded a duffel and threw it in the ditch. A severed head

Grandpa carried on, "Back in my day, our good ideas lit torches, not bulbs. I remember when I caught wind of some necromancing scallawags, ooh boy. Ghosts don't like fire, nor do

Mr. Henry's history class was very popular because of the period costume banquet that served as final exam. King Henry's feast featured roast pig, a jester, & a mock beheading but

C3PO realized they were playing hacky-sack with a "Thermal Detonator!"

Despite the speed and efficiency are used in the process, the vegetables are treated with respect. They are given giant rubber aprons to

I will lead you to the two dozen most important practices. It involves a villa, linen envelopes, a screen door sprayed with PAM, and three Albanian

Shortly after Psychic Eddie opened his Psychic Spa, the reactions and feedback of viewers were intense, both in support and condemnation of

The heart they pulled out of the cooler, was from an Iraqi. A 20 year old who'd been wounded by a drone. The doctor took the heart and placed it in Dick Cheney's chest.

The only light was a console TV fizzling static. I looked deeply into the pattern of the avocado shag carpet.The stains from the Pabst Blue Ribbon were telling me something. "Now."

Once upon a time there was a cute little girl called Lucy, and everyone thought she looked just like a fairy because of her delicate features and her friendly smile.

Thus it came to pass that the earth purged the monkey creatures. But before she did she asked the last surviving man why he should be allowed to persist. Luckily that last manling

"There is a great disturbance in the Borscht." said, Obi Von Kenslavski. He had traveled to Siberia in search of a young boy on the collective farm, known as sovkhozes

“No, I am your father.” said the black helmeted one at the target when his little boy Luke absent-mindedly held the hand of a stranger. "Remember stranger danger."

My sister died. Reading the text that I sent her. The text I sent her in a fit that she wouldn't support me about Garret. I regret it every day.

Miniaturized, we were separated by invisible labyrinthine barriers in a sword made of glass. What possible value could such an impractical weapon have? Accursed lesbesbian king!

"I don't want to be an adventurer anymore." Flapjack complained. "Not after what Cap'n K'nuckles did." This whole mess started when K'nuckles bought a cat.

I like big spuds and I cannot lie, hashbrowns or big steak fries, when I see one baked with bacon flakes my inside start to shake, Idaho or new, you just can't get