Thanks to the landmark case of "US Government vs. Dr. Finkle", proctologists were now required to use stirrups and a speculum to give their exams. No longer would women be the

5th Grade

"Only $0.17 more and I'll have enough money for some ChocoFlan!" said asthmatic Ricky Two-Buns just seconds before a planet from the Bermuda 8 system collided into his bedroom.

"Ah ha! I've have finally discovered how to turn lead into gold! said Mr Noblet, Esquire of Crowburne Manor. He dipped his quill into the inkwell to record the discovery

Pa pointed to the still. "Son, I want you to use your eyes to heat up that still, then fly these barrels to the county line." This was how Pa would get Clark into Moonshining

The sweatshop owner had a point. I couldn't name another country where you could pay a 12 year-old $1/week to

A panda walks into a bar and orders a meal at the counter. When done, he gets up, shoots the bartender and leaves. Why?

Rock, paper, scissors... shoot!

The sky was blue, or the child thought it was. There wasn't really anything going on in his mind. the sky was blue, the lake's water was blue, his fingers were

Her name was Ziva and we were sitting indian-style, holding hands under the most gorgeous red sunset I had ever seen when suddenly

It is decked out with an actual dual-deck cassette tape player – which was used for making mix tapes. Good times (analog style). And notice the

We're a group of adventurers that travels across continents and through centuries in a helium balloon combating the League of Darkness - a conspiracy of powerful aristocrats who

He sat cross legged, the way the Indian had showed him. He started the chanting. His soul lifted from his body, floated through the ceiling and into his brother's bedroom. He

Imogen wondered where she was, and what the hell was going on. First someone had hijacked her words & there was a shootout. Then some other guy took her out of context and cheated

There was a window of time & he used it to buy turtle necks. He washed them in holy water and then sewed packets of garlic salt into the neck seams. He wasn't ready for a werewolf

"You know you're not supposed to be within a hundred yards of me." He stepped forward, covering my dress with footprints. At least the homicide detectives would know his shoe size

'All in a day's work,' he said pleasantly, and threw the glue-stick in the bin. Little Bobby breathed in and immediately sneezed. A large sticky mass flew out of his nose and

Jessie stepped on something. She heard a creaking sound - suddenly they librarys vast book case was toppling upon her, book cascading like a water fall of pages. She screamed. But,

Cap'n Crunch was pissed. Those uppity Crunchberries had succeeded in removing his name from "their" cereal. Little pink BASTARDS! He'd killed peanut butter Smedley, now he'd crush

Half way to her house, I smelled trouble. More precisely, I smelled the dog shit on my shoe that I’d managed to keep off my face. There would be no hot Rainwater