So, I couldnt decide if it was really profitable to smuggle bear paws. Sadly, my partner in crime thought I said bear claws, & it was over from there. 15K of sugary goodness had 2

"I'm tired of all these tentacled, 8-headed dragons," said Japanese hero Katsumi Shishi. "I'm gonna be a hero in Africa. Ornery hippos? Hyenas? No problem." She packed her raygun

rrrrr r r r r r r r r r r r rr r

There was a time when the blue was bluer, I'm sure.

Everyone's heard of Mother Goose, but no one's heard of Mother Bruce.

"...and, I have a major, major novel that is being published this year, it will be widely available everywhere on digital platforms, so I have that going for me."

The Frisboids, a race of giant sentient frisbees, decended from the saucer & slowly approached Central Park. The Municipal Frisbee Dog Corp. had trained for this moment.

On a trip down to New Orleans to listen to some Jazz music, Tinkerbell had a little too much to drink. When she came to, her leg was stuck in a bug zapper.

The depressed termite had had enough of wood. Wood, wood wood. That's all anyone ate around here. What about osso buco? What about

"Well maybe if you didn't spend so much time on that stupid Folding website or whatever it is, you'd have time to take out the trash." Ohhhhh. I closed my laptop. "Well maybe

She cradled his head and let out a blood-curtling scream. The rain pounded the sidewalk and leaked down her brunette tresses. She looked like a drowned rat, but she didn't care,

Most parents don't realize that how a child acts at age 3 is a warning as to how he will act at age 13. If you don't find the right balance between parental control & independence

Grandpa was at the casino. Nothing kept his mind off of his impending doom quite like Sinatra played on loop in a room without clocks. He gambled away his gas money, then his car,

Lightning flashed across the craggy face of the mountain as I lifted my head against the pelting rain. I welcomed the storm. It seemed a fitting backdrop for what lay ahead.

"Smut, smut and more smut!" shrieked the Quaker, slamming the tomes down on the counter. "Is that too much to ask from a library book??!". The librarian, adjusting the strap of her

Lawyer, doctor, or "Indian chief," that is what my father wanted me to be when I grew up. Boy, have I disappointed him by becoming a crustacean toe clipper making less than $5.50

Ways to read a boring textbook: 1) 1st chapter and last chapter only, 2) hold it upside down and laugh through each page, 3) read chapter titles only, 4) let Grover eat it, 5) pict

*** Greasy Charr Grilled Gristleburgers! *** Harv pulled nto his favorite truckstop. Fran saw the Medusa Decals on the Rig and yelled, "Russ, two Big Greasies and a Monster shake!"

i woke up and thats when i found her...

Rich took Joey to work today - I got home... and no dog greeted me.