I made a pilgrimage to Glenturret distillery for two reasons: 1) The Naked Grouse was my house whiskey & 2) I had a mouse problem & wanted to hire their mouser softpaw Towser Jr.

Jim stepped off the porch, crying through his nose and coughing the shit up like it contained his regret. He'd gone to make the last payment in person, but she'd invited him in.

Every morning I read a Folding Story and my goal for that day is to reenact its events to the best of my ability. I aim to strive for authenticity. It's a new kind of horoscope.

Once again the poker room at Aria was his undoing. His ace high flush was defeated by the babiest of straight flushes. His life savings lost, he turned to the waitress and asked

While walking to the store on last saturday afternoon I found what no one would believe, thier was an unexpected meteor hit the ground about 50 feet ahead of me i ran towards it...

She was already sick of it!Couldn't take it anymore.Anger filled her body and soul.She turned to the dresser and looked at the case where she kept a gun in.Took one,two,three steps

Jack loved the way his spandex socks contoured to his feet. the feel of the tight fabric against his toes. The way they cradled his ankles. Jack was ready for anything involving

Groid Buttenberg didn't know it was a crime to fart in an elevator in Texas until he was apprehended by Looneyville's Tough on Tootin' Sheriff Jesse Arpeggio in a sting operation

April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.

I was in the middle of Main Street in Maine, which wasn't very main because in Maine, the main characteristic is being mainly mainstream Maine-empty. Confusingly I still got hit by

The Squid children were silent. Then: "Eeeeewwwww! THAT'S how you met Giant Grandmother Squid? GROSS!" they asked. "Well, no." Giant Old Squid Man admitted. "In 1946, after the war

The UPS driver stared intensely at me. "Do you want Santa's recipe for hot chocolate?" Of course I do, I replied!!! He shrugged. "Cool, here's what you do. Add three

The Geriatric Four was down to three again and interviewing for a fourth team member. Flatumaster leaned over and asked Hotflash, "So what's his superpower?". "He calls himself, "

I swear, it was just like mom used to make back when

A young girl came speeding down the street. She waved her hands at me and started yelling.

His spirit languished at a roadside bar, Karma the dregs in some unfinished bowl of chili there. The stools reminded him of the climb his life had been. Having been a door to door

It started like any other day, up at 5:00am, 20 minute work out and breakfast. As I finished my coffee everything changed. How did she get in I asked myself, steeling myself for

When Angela traveled all the way to Ukraine for her knee operation, she had no idea that both her patellas would be replaced by equal sized spheres of critically enriched uranium.

In 2008 scientists studied and made discoveries that the world will end sometime in the winter of 2012. The world is

She used to say she hated smokers and refused to kiss him, but the roses he'd bought her were an emotional lubrication. She still complained, but flowers muted her for another week