“Of all the side effects that Professor Hinckley said could come with these new super powers of mine, why, oh, why, did it have to be the one where my...”

A ring echoes through the old apartment causing the man who sat half asleep on the couch to jump up and run over "hello" he hurriedly speaks almost out of breath.

Harry Baals was the mayor of Ft. Wayne, IN, for several years in the mid-20th century. Harry Baals

Her dress fell to the floor and I stood there for a moment admiring its beauty. Silk folds with lace trim. It evoked Valentino at his prime. "Ahem!" she coughed at her nakedness

Sky was a shy girl with an iron will and a passion for Neil Sedaka. She had no friends, preferring the company of a lone pelican she met on the shore each morning. Only he

Num num num....NUM....num num num.... humph.... mmmm....(tasty)... CRUNCH!...chuff-chuff-chuff...num num...gulp...(ahhhhh) So anyway, what I meant to say was

Waking up early in the morning, got up and looked outside, a man, in a hoodie wearing all black, was standing outside my house staring at me, I thought, "What is he doing there?"

Otis wasn't afraid of death, it was the chance of waking up afterwards, in a moldy coffin 6 feet under, or worse - in the cremation chamber. His will stipulated that when he died

Zed raised the Crystal of Knowledge, a gem the size of his fist, into the light. As he admired its scintillations, Arthur Frayn warned him: "That one don't go in the forehead."

Johnny B. had ridden over 2000 horses in his life, but this one was different. He could tell from the moment he got into the saddle. The horse was clearly overweight, but something

Six dragon heads, one for each point of the star, contained him. The ruby eyes were binding magic and suspended him floating. It was the only apparent mysticism that kept Bill

How dare you enter my abode! I shall turn you into a... let's see. hmm... Advocado? Yes... Advocado! I WILL TURN YOU INTO AN ADVOCADO!

one day i had a water fight with some kids.....no one is a match for my kettle

He stares ahead, frozen. His heart beats at the speed of light. The gun sits in the palm of his trembling fingers. "Oh lord, what have I done?" he thought anxiously.

What they had forgotten is that there can be no order without chaos, no light without darkness. For in a wasteland of beauty, there can be no solace.

There would be enough time for dinner at least. He'd pay cash and a modest tip and blend in with all of the other customers. She was stunning, but in ways nobody would notice at

After untold centuries, Taco Bell finally ran out of creative ways to repackage dog food, bad queso and nachos and began to branch out into French cuisine. Le Damn Bell Sans Merci

My day was the worst, first I was hit by a giant fleshy bowling ball, right through my school and into hell, second

"To twerk. To rhythmically gyrate the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter." 'Lower fleshy extremities' is too vague

He woke up groggy and sore from mysterious rug burns in yet more mysterious places. His nakedness was covered by a carelessly tossed afghan. The only sign of life was a blinking