The patient has an impossible body type and is far too thin for her height The Patient has been admitted after having compulsions to respond to partying requests with "aww aww yea"

You're listening to 106.4 FM, "The Krill", the only radio station playing exclusively beluga whale mating calls put to a metronome. Next up, we have that hot single, "My Blowhole

I was sitting wondering how many times you could drop your ipad before it actually, you know, broke for real. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a cat with wings chasing a robin

"Stealing from children and murdering mimes, these are a few of my favorite crimes!" Julie Andrews was drunk again. She twirled into the groping mitts of the notorious producer,

It's not even a question of 'if', but really 'how often' do you see something that you know is there and then you look again and it's gone, or changed. That's

Había una vez un chico que se llamaba Andrey y que no llevaba nada de ropa.

I tend to evaluate my life decisions in long car trips. Tonight was no different, one single burden briefly illuminated by the alternating glow of street lights.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." My stepfather's mom was known to pronounce that old chestnut at the drop of a hat. But as a kid, I always thought she said "abcess," since

That old bag is made of cells. Cells are bags of liquid and proteinaceous glob. They contain organelles. Organelles are just smaller bags with more liquid and glob. Tea bag theory

When the chief offered his daughter the interpreter told me this was an offer I couldn't turn down. "I am already married. Tell him that. Point out my wedding ring." "Why does that

Thanks, I already did. Help yourself by helping others. You don't believe that chicken. I don't either. A nice country ham has no regrets; a good one has a few. But the best swine

The Sun has feelings too, you know, just like you. He is just too polite to show them. He doesn't want to be one of "those" stars. It is what it is but he doesn't want it not to be

Rules to follow if you want to successfully survive a zombie event:/ Never reveal your real name.

Have you ever wondered what lies beyond perception? It wouldn't be fair to say that Frida was blind; she could see clearly in fact, some say even more so than your average person.

Once upon a time, there was a frog and a bog and a log. Sometimes the frog left the log in the bog for some grog. One day,

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus was playing on the old Victrola; I had just checked back in from a brief blackout session. But Santa had Mommy bent over the sofa arm sans knickers

Kenny's deep, dark secret was that he liked to write fanfiction.

The vampire laid down on the silk sheets feeling tired.The idea of getting a coffin crossed his mind and it made him smile.She was trustworthy,but maybe he should make ajustments.

The Rat-King tweeked his wiskers and observed Sewer Kingdom from high up on his throne (which is basically a pipe). Rat underlings scuttled to and fro

In the dying days of World War II Hitler sat in his bunker eating a boiled egg. Suddenly a time traveller appeared from nowhere and pointed a gun at him "Hitler", he said "My name